Well in the middle of my exercise on the treadmill, I bumped my ipod and sent it flying under the treadmill. I thought "ok I'll raise up the treadmill and make sure it's locked before bending to get the ipod then I'll continue my exercise." Well boo. I could for my life figure out how to get the treadmill back down. I text my dad and he tried to tell me how. I must be lacking strength lol So I had to go outside–in the bloody heat–and finish my walk.
Also I gained 3 pounds this week!!!! WTF??? It better be muscle, that's all I have to say.
As July 25 approaches, I find myself thinking of my grandpa Homer. He passed away before I was born but we shared an interest in Criminal Justice. I look at my dad and realize how much he resembles his father. I would give anything to have met him. I should be thankful for what I have I know and not dwell on what I don't. However, I can't help but feel cheated. I never got a chance to grow up with grandpas–my mom's dad passed when I was 18 months old. They were both such interesting men. Homer was a police man and a father of 5. My grandpa Bob was a Jack of many trades I guess and had 2 daughters. My grandpa Bob had so many interests and talents. He started a bond for me after I was born. I can't help but feel guilty that my brother and cousin didn't get a chance to meet Bob. Or have a bond started for each of them.
I guess listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack makes me think of what I don't have or rather the people I miss and wish I had met.
July 25th is hard for me but I can't imagine how hard it is on my grandma, dad, uncles and aunts and all of those who knew Homer. He was involved in the youth programs in his town and was well known and liked…God why did he have to be taken away so soon??? Why do I have to feel so deeply about so much? Why do I focus on what I don't have instead of what I have?
Feeling a little low at the moment…may take a nap in hopes I'll wake up feeling better.
Thanks for reading xxxxxxxx

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