I\'ve never had a blog before. I guess this seemed like as good a time as any to start one.

I\'m Gin,

The last two years my life has gone literally to hell. I\'ve no idea how or why this happened but it has. I\'ve gone from being an outgoing long haul trucker to someone who doesn\'t leave her house if given an option. I spend all day pretty much on the computer either looking for answers or playing WoW. At first I just didn\'t want to leave the house, Now I rarely leave my office space in my house. I can\'t sleep unless I take big pills and I hate pills.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with diabetes. After that it was a downhill slope. I lost my career and now I feel like I\'ve lost me. I have no desire to interact with the "outside" world anymore. As long as I\'ve got internet and tv and my dog I am happy. And yet, somewhere inside me there\'s this little voice that says HEY this isn\'t right.

I stopped taking any meds because they made me sick. The diabetes pills made me beyond sick so they gave me a pill in order to take a pill.. Only the pill they gave me has been pulled from the market for causing heart attacks. So I ask myself… how safe are any of the pills? So I just don\'t take any thing. I watch what I eat but I know thats not enough. I\'ve gained a lot of weight. I don\'t even have the energy to clean house anymore. I get up to do it and get totally overwhelmed with what I need to do. And to top it off we have to move in a month and I have made very little headway getting things packed. Even though I\'m excited to get out of this dump and into a nicer place I just can\'t seem to find the energy to get anything done.

Well thats my rant for the night. Anyone else out there with these problems?




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