I'm feeling considerably better than I did yesterday. Went to WW this morning and got 5 lb star. I feel…impressed I guess. I still listen to the message the member sent me. It really makes me feel loved, something I don't feel very often. Hugs, at least in my world, don't always mean much. They are just a greeting, at least that's how they feel to me. When I go over to a relative's house, a hello and a hug are automatically given. When my aunt, K, hugs me, I do feel the love. Not sure why…I guess maybe she hugs with purpose and not just routine.
It's hard to describe what the message from the DT member makes me feel…comfort, a sense of security I guess. Like an older sibling I don't have lol I laugh because…well I don't want to give away who this member is. And I feel if I describe the message, I'll do just that.
I'm so used to being the older sis but I don't recall my brother ever looking to me for strenth or anything. He's always been happy, strong and outgoing. Why would he look up to a sister who suffers from depression and anxiety? Why would he look up to a sister who is sad and down most of the time? I know I'm putting myself down but these are the thoughts that run through my head. Almost without…conprehension.
As I continue to blog, my feelings change…maybe they always do or maybe I'm just aware of it for the moment. I feel like I let my brother down…I feel like I am not a good role model for him. He deserves a better sister…one he can be proud of…nevermind….I lost the spark that had me starting this blog. Darn that was fast 🙁
-
Relapse
sadmaxwe14, , Depression, Career, Medication, Relationships, Therapy, 0
So it's been almost a whole year since I made this account, posted once and then never again till...
-
U.G.L.Y
sadjac, , Depression, Grief, Relationships, Religion, Sex Therapy, Suicide, 1
I got totally frustrated with DT today. It wouldn’t let me open anything, or post any blogs. Luckily I...
-
Read This If Your Feeling Suicidal
Lauren1208, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Religion, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapist, Weight Loss, 0
If you let depression overcome you, you are not the only one affected. Your family is also. Imagine how...
-
R.I.P pa xx
robbo66, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Iwanted to thank all my precious friends who have supported me over the last couple of months. Pa {my...
-
The first time
uberbobolink, , Depression, Career, Depression, Medication, Parenting, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
The first time I ever broke down in front of somebody else was with my father and it happened...
-
Kids
Crysdawn25, , Depression, Child, Depression, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Infidelity, Relationships, 0
When it comes to kids, we all get excited. From the moment we bring them home from the hospital...
-
Something interesting and scary
Marta, , Depression, Depression, OCD, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, 1
I really consider myself really weird cuz sometimes i literally feel like an alien, i look in the mirror...
-
Trying to Find Peace
Edna16, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Anxiety, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Social Anxiety, 0
Starting to become more hopeful again. Been thinking less about my anxiety & thinking more about positive things that...