Had a strange weekend… I actually stopped being agoraphobic for a day and wow, getting out of the house was really nice.  Manic as hell but all that energy, wow.. Hard to believe after not eating for 3 days…  But being manic, I do too much and today I am paying for it.  Hip hurts like crazy, stumbling all over the place.. waiting for the meds to kick in so I can hit the grocery store.  But my house is spotless, yard work done.. Want to plant things this week since it will be nice.  Gardening is a trait I developed from my grandma.. I feel closer to her and my God when I work with the earth.  I have a feeling this oil spill has angered Mother Nature… Hate to see the reprocussions… Mark my words, she will have her wrath..

Friday I told the hubby I wanted to talk, tell him things alls he did was talk.. Let me know how his mother "can't talk to me" and how his sister is just, "rude to me for no reason"..  I"m done trying to please those people.  I"ve never been good enough, will never be good enough and that's ok.  They suck as humans and choose to be unhappy.  Must be nice to have an FN choice in how you feel 😛  He keeps telling me how noone understands my physical conditions.  Maybe he forgets that neurological issues can take years to diagnose.  I've had multiple Dr's tell me it's "not in my head" so I guess F*** what other people think.  I know my body, I'm a nurse I'm far from stupid…   So, w/e I let it go like I always do and just wrote what i wanted to say in an email.  The high lights pissed him off ha ha!  Why do I get pleasure in being what he doesn't want want me to be? I like the rocker look, I'm almost 30 and look 21 so why not have fun and rock it till the wheels fall off?   He never mentioned my email so I'm guessing he listened, and he got it because Sunday we had a really good day.  It was nice.  I finally had an appetite and pigged out.  My fork was a shovel and it was amazing!

Saturday I hung out with a few friends and my brother.  I don't know where I'd be in life w/o my brother.  He stopped me from getting in the car and driving to a concert in C-bus (Columbus) and found a better concert for us to go to… I'm super excited about that.  Rockstar Mayhem Concert, hitting the D-troit  show in August.. Any of you MI people going??  I just can't wait, finally something to look forward to and make goals for.   I'll never be in a mosh pit again but I've decided if I have to go via wheel chair (goal is to not have to) I'm getting a super hot dress.  People can point at the pretty cripple.. It's not handicapped it's handi-can. 

Got another email from the ex BF.. Not sure what to do about that still.. I will ponder things, go to my "tranquility" spot and think it over.  Aiming for a "normal" week.. Maybe next weekend I'll try the new med.  Maybe I'll hear from SSI, they're past their deadline.. Maybe I'll get our income tax return…  Funny how when you owe the govt money they want it right then but when they owe you… they take their sweet ass time.. Be nice to pay some bills… Get a 1/4 sleeve tat on my arm.  I can't feel it so why not??  Oh wait, the hubby hates tats… I've stopped caring.. 😛  Blessed be peoples.  Hope your week is great.


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