I am goin through post break-up depresion, anxiety, heartache…etc. It is tough.

But believe me, I know that it is just a small glitch compared to life’s other obstacles and challenges. Dad passed on long time ago, psychizophrenic mother (whose personality type is another story- narcissistic, absent), special needs sister (delayed mental development). Victimization in the workplace. Relatives who have always lived distant. Friends who always seem to disappear at the most convenient times. Suffering from anxiety, OCD/rocd, pmdd, depression.

Relationships seem as if they are the only things which I can choose. However I am still not able to sway its direction towards my happiness. I have been “blessed with bad luck”, if I may. I make choices but in the process of the relations, I always receive the short end of the stick. Not only have I been having this experience since 18 but it seems as though it is continuing as I go through life.

How could they live normally after, even prosper, become more successful, thrive, with me living in a dark world? Yes everyone has their bad days but in comparison, these people seem to prosper more, the more they are bad. I struggle, I do. I have to put up a fight for everything I want and you know what, most times I fail, I don’t get things, don’t matter how hard I try.

Worked straight out off school, saved up to go college, worked again, restarted school. Now as you may guessed yes….have to work again to save money again. (don’t have to say how job hunting is in today’s economic situation). Society says work hard for what you want, knowledge is power, etc. So how come I try to look at all angles and push myself to the limit only to fail in the end? How come I am always turned down?

I am really feeling depressed, hurt , alone. This relationship made me feel as though I was not good enough. Maybe because I did not possess certain things, idk… This is my first blog ever, not only on this site, but generally. In the next one I would write about relationship alone. Too much to say…

I just really feel down and out > life, what have I ever done to deserve this? There is never a day when I can just “smile only“.

 

2 Comments
  1. thistle 11 years ago

     

    hi, sorry about your setbacks–hope they can be righted in not too distant future.I feel very bad for a lot of people  with the economy the way it is.If the papers,etc., were filled with help wanted ads  and good paying jobs–there would be a heck of a lot less depressed peopleThere are people with advanced degrees working  for barely above minimum wage . all the best—ed

    |
    0 kudos
    • Author
      emotions 3 years ago

      Hi ed,

      I’m so sorry for the very very delayed reply. I haven’t been on tribe for a very long time but after so many years found myself back here again tonight.

      Thank you for your kind words.

      |
      0 kudos

Leave a reply

© 2021 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account