Been a real long time since I have posted a blog. Almost forgot that I was on this site. To many I guess to keep up with. I am going to leave some that I don't feel are doing me any good. I am going to do what I can to keep blogging on here more than I have in the past.
I am feeling depressed, and to top that off, I am hurting. Head ache. Tummy hurts. so I just wished that this pain would go away. I had plans for today, and wouldn't you know it, I most likely WON'T be ABLE TO DO THEM. This makes me feel even worse. Life can really suck sometimes. But thank God that it doesn't happen ALL THE TIME.
Going to go for now. If I have time, energy, I will post more at a later time.
I am back again. Long painful day. I fought a migraine all day. I am now over it, however it is just about time for bed. I have been down all day. Didn't get much at all done today like I was hoping to. All because of the head ache. Why does life have to be like this for me. I am so lonely, so afraid, so confused. I have emotions just flowing all over the place. Will be extra thankful when I get into counseling. Then maybe, perhaps there will be help for me. Just maybe I can clear my head out. With all these feelings and throught storming around, sometimes I feel like exscaping, but how, where? I sure won't be getting relief too soon, or maybe I will. I just know that I can't keep feeling, going this way.
Today I took a drive to find the place where I am going to be going for counseling. Mom won't go with me, so I get to go alone. Now this is all new to me, so I am going to be so nervous. I hate going to new places, and seeing new people. I get real worked up, stressed out.
Speaking of worked up. I am worried about D and I. He just seems to keep me in the background. I care for him, fear that I care more for him then he for me. I don't want hurt, I don't know what I would do if he hurt me. I need to let him know that I care, however he is now gone for 3 weeks, haven't heard from him, as of now. He left Sunday, sometime, because we spent Saturday night in a motal. It was very enjoyable, but ending with saddnes, which I kept from him. I am starting to do it again. I am starting to hold feelings, fears, thought, and so on from D, and also from Mom as well. I just really hate this. Nightmares are also starting to be a nightly thing. So guess you could say that talking to someone perfessonal will be greatly needed, and time couldn't be any sooner.
I am freaking out over my car. The service engine soon is on. For I can't afford if something was to happen to it, I just don't know where Mom and I would be, I have never taken a bus/ train to get around. I have always walked, or drove my own vehicle. God pls don't let anything bad go wrong???