Hi to anyone reading this ..  I just wanna pour my heart out. Tonight’s the worse night ever and since Noone cares to listen, I decided to write away my pain …  I’m actually heart broken and I have so much burden on me when am only 20 …  I have to worry about my mum not losing her job, my dad having to complain to me about his conflicts with my mum … having to worry about my future,  it’s more like everything about me is just full of bad luck ..  I won’t be able to go to college cause I’ve got to help raise my other siblings …  I sometimes cry that I didn’t beg to be born into this world full of problems … people say I have a cheerful smile but they don’t know how dark, lonely and sad I truly am … I’m really fed up and tired. I’ve never had any successful relationship. . It’s more like people don’t like me, maybe I’m a bad person.. I don’t even know .. even those I try to approach snub me immediately or leave me hanging after some time. … I just had to go through my contact list hoping to find someone to pour my heart to… I was left disappointed..  I try to go with the motto that says “as long as there’s life, there’s hope”. Unfortunately am tired of hoping for better things …  right now, my eyes are swollen and my mattress is soaked … I have so much to say but all I need right now is a shoulder to cry on …   I better stop here cause I wouldn’t stop writing. I’m broken 😭.. wish my diary had feelings, I’m sure it would been a better mate than any human.

5 Comments
  1. lovelydaya 5 years ago

    Hope youre feeling better

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      shalom20 5 years ago

      @lovelydaya I’m still breathing and trying to survive .. thanks for showing concern … didn’t know people here even chat or give replies

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  2. cascade888 5 years ago

    I so much can understand how much pain you may feel. I felt so much the same after the loss of my father due to suicide with no explanation as to why he took his life.
    However, there is still purpose in life. I cannot explain exactly why, but I believe that there is and that far better and less traumatic times are ahead, if we allow these times to pass (and best with the help of friends or family, if they feel trustworthy and supportive).
    The most positive thing that I can share is that emotions do change with time. They do. That is certain. The situations that we deal with, of course, will still require attention and effort (and, yes, some degree of emotion).

    In short, you can do this. I believe in you. If you need someone to believe in you until you believe in yourself, I am very glad to be that person, since I truly understand what you have experienced.

    If you want more about what I have gone through, feel free to ask me. I think that we are very similar in life experience. And, I truly believe in you. You can do this. Just say with it, one day at a time. Even one minute at a time. You can do this, and, if you do, you will end up being the person who tells another person that it is possible to get through such a time as this. Who knows? Perhaps you were the person who was born with the knowledge and heart to help others to get through exactly “such a time as this” when they face a similar situation in the future.

    What do you think? I would like to know.

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      shalom20 5 years ago

      Thank you so much for your comment … it touched me . I’m sorry about your father .. I hope he’s resting in peace .. and yes, I would like to talk and know more ☺@cascade888

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  3. spicey 5 years ago

    Hey there. Funny thing with life is that its so unfair. I too look for aunthetic friends in my life and i find none among those who surround me yet you also want the same yet you have no one aunthetic.
    Someone once told me “As you are looking for someone aunthetic someone somewhere in the world is looking for someone aunthetic too. It’s just a matter of time before you meet each other.”
    You aren’t the problem, neither are they but maybe they just aren’t the right people. You maybe struggling now just because you are yet to find the right people.
    About family, families always have issues. Just take it as an instution that was used to bring you to the world. Don’t want to carry the heavy burdens of family on your shoulders because you wouldn’t be helping anyone instead you’d sink all of you. You are strong. So what if money is a challenge right now? A strong will can never be stopped. Just focus on improving yourself even in those difficulties. Are you gonna tell your kids tales of misery or of victory.
    It gets hard, it will get hard but you can do it. While at home think of ways you can be better and let not anyone put out your candle.
    A dreamer is always a fighter so if you dare to dream fight for it because guess what, you were born to do this.
    It gets overwhelming, i know but never lose your fighting spirit.

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