i have had a busy few weeks which is completely different to normal and how i have been with depression over the last few years.  It has been a welcome change in some ways, but after just a few weeks of doing lots of things and helping lots of people out and getting lots of things sorted i already feel burnt out.  Its like an addiction – once i started doing good things and getting up and oding them there was no stopping me, but i am soo tired and i am now neglecting the other things in  life i should be doing such as my meditation, it has really taken its toll on me.  And these things have helped me work through my depression but have left other problems in its wake.  As you can see the tiredness is making me nonsensical.  I am loosing my train of though and finding it hard to focus.  Granted its late at night but i have only been awake for 8 hours!!  What is also frustrating is that the things I have been doing to keeo busy is no where near how busy and active i was before all this.  I could understand being tired if i had been overdoing it but by my standards i am not.  However i realise that i must be patient with myself and if I am tired i am obviously overdoing it amd shouldnt have expected too much of myself.  What i have been doing is an improvement and is progress from i was before.  I should acknowledge that and be thankful for it.  Also my last anger moodswing lasted a short while longer and then subdued.  But today i had an angry flare up again a really bad one, but i think it was because i was so tired – i felt drained both days and the smallest things were setting me off and i think it was just the surge of adrenaline keeping it going for so long and soo intently.  But i cant remember how it was i stopped the anger, but take comfort in the fact that i can eventually control it.  I will get some sleep and see how i feel in the morning. I hope you are all ok, and thanks for reading and sorry for not making much sense!xx


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