Tired…..tired of being like this!!! Today has been a bad day and i just want to cry, but no tears are coming 🙁 work was sooo busy in the morning i felt like walking out, i love my brother im also extremely jelous of him..which i get confuised with the feeling of hate :/ he's doing well at setting up his own arial photography business, he's only 18!! but really motivated. which makes me feel depleted. just worthless, i feel i've achieved all i can now, yeah sure great i've got a flat, getting a car ina couple of weeks, got several jobs..might aswell die now. im done..
i hate feeling like this 🙁 i've been trying SO hard to resist my urges but work finished me off this evening, again, it was soo busy and i felt my head getting tense, one of my old primary school teachers came into the resturant and i had to serve their table, among others..she taught year 1, i remember to this day being SO shy, too shy to talk, couldn't even answer my own name when she called the register, would blush scarlett if i was spoken to. When i was serving her today i had to force my hands to steady and i felt my heart beating faster and my forehead was sweating! why does she still have this effect over me?!! she's a nice person..it's just i remember the odl times and i feel horrible again. i've just gone downhill form there!!
i need to cut!!!!!!!!!!!!
thought i was gonna have a day off 2moro but ohhhhhhh NO, i stupidly f*cking agreed to work in the evening as their fully booked with parties at the resturant. and i've stupidly agreed to help at sunday school. F*ksake! :'(
i literally feel ill, i'm hungry i've got a tummy ache, my heads aching i'm overtired and im angry! GREAT the perfect combo!!!!
i want a hug 🙁