As I look back at my time in the program i find out some intresting things…. The phrases that are thrown around so much can be irritating. The one i really hate to here is "You are right where your supposed to be". Like most who call themselves addicts, I want,feel and think I should be further than what I am. How ever in reality I am right where I am supposed to be.
The best thing about that is i can acctually see the growth in myself. I am also enjoying the rewards of the program….. I was only promised the freedom from active addiction. However, through working the steps and getting honest with myself I have began to love myself for the first time in my life. I have made some real honest to god true friends. That have been there for me in my most troubled times, that have cried with me and even laughed with me. I am the happiest I have ever been in life…..
Thats where I am internally…. Externally I want and feel I should have more and be further than where I sit…… Then comes my second least fav phrase, " In his time not yours". I understand that saying completely however I still want it my way. The best part is I am beginning to accept the fact. I believe Acceptance is the key that opens the door to a fuller and more complete willingness to surrender.
So nothing for nothing, as much as I hate the pfrase YOU are right where your supposed to be…. I look back and have a new sense of grattitude…… I may not be where I want to be, however I am not where I WAS