I got some interesting responses to my blog about Steve stopping by with smack ("When It Rains…" – my last blog). I appreciate the support a great deal. And, while still appreciating the spirit of that support, I felt the need to write a somewhat corrective response to one of the people who left me a comment. It was not intended to be bitchy, and I hope it was not received as such. This is what I had to say:
i mean no offense, and i very much appreciate the sentiment behind the comment you left, but i feel the need to speak your presumption that i was not trusted while i was getting high. since you answered your own question without waiting for a response, i stopped by to give you the actual answer to your question (whether it happens to be relevant or not). i get the stereotype about addicts and junkies, but life is usually more complicated than stereotypes. the only person i screwed over b/c of drugs was me. i was trusted by those close to me when i was strung b/c i was still there for them, anytime they needed me, i always paid back debts, and when friends were in a jam, I took care of them (money, a place to stay, whatever) – extended myself like crazy for them (generous to the point of screwing myself over, at times) – i was "out there" for 7 yrs and even tho i am sure it sucked for some who cared about me to watch (very few of my friends have ever been heroin addicts like myself), i never screwed over anyone who cared about me by stealing, disappearing, or doing anything generally "untrustworthy." whatever else i have done, or been, i am proud of the fact that i never stopped being a good friend, and the ppl who knew me on DT before i got clean can attest to that. any of my friends would tell you that they would trust me with their lives, heroin or no heroin, because i have proven over time, that i always have their backs, no matter what’s going on. not trying to be argumentative, but i felt the need to defend against that presumption, because it is in fact false. not all junkies are con artists and thieves – some are just lost souls. i don’t intend to keep company with anyone who is getting high, at present, not because i don’t trust them, but because i cannot be around that lifestyle while trying not to live it (whether or not they can be trusted is irrelevant).
thanks for stopping in and offering your words of support. they are greatly appreciated."
Hopefully, that didn’t ruffle any feathers.
Take care everyone.