I'm on the bus going to my boyfriends, the bus journey takes an hour really, 2 buses, each takes half hour, its a drag really.. But I don't feel like myself. Me and my boyfriend have this thing, he'll ask me if I fEel like myself, or 'fredrick'. Lol, fredricks just someone we made up for when I feel like a total different person. At the moment, I fEel half fredrick, half I don't know. Its so confusing not feeling like yourself. I haven't been to school today, I guess sleep and worries got the best of me! Yesterday though I went in, did my english exam which I thought went ok, I was feeling ok, then I just went kinda mental, flipped out at a teacheR, crying and screaming at him begging to go home, I was going to have a panic attack etc. I haven't done that in a looong time, I thought I'd stopped mtself from doing that, but obviously not! It kinda shocked me, as I'm close to this certain teacher, he's helped me a lot, he's helped me not get completely kicked out! But not attending school and reacting like that could lead to the shitty attendance officer getting involved, which could lead to a fine. So I guess monday I'm gonna drag my ass in and just be there. But the thing is, people just don't really understand mental illness. (No offence whatsoever to anyone suffering or know anyone that's suffered from cancer because my step mum has) but it feels like if someone saw someone who had cancer for eg, or a broke leg, they'd feel so much sympathy, be like oh you can go home, don't worry about coming to school, its fine. But as it comes to mental illness, noone seems to understand. Like me, you could be feeling like you're literally dying inside, clawing at your black heart to feel something, scars up your arm, and because they can't see it, they think not much is wrong, so you're encouraged to stay in school, and get up out of bed each morning. What if you can't? What if you honestly feel like you're dying, crying into your palms? I don't know really how to cope anymore, tired of being a fighter.
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I don't care.
Ghostgirl, , Depression, 0
@ ancientgeekcrone & kelseyzeee – I did finally call public safety last night. I tried to ignore the noise...
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When is the next station? Id like to get off
Sciencegirl, , Depression, Parenting, 0
I haven’t got a clue who I am. I just tried to socialise, try and forget everything and have...
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My chest is going to explote
Halfback, , Depression, Career, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I was looking forward to a quite night and to start getting ready for the job interview I have...
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So it would appear my parents have no power over me anymore. And I have friends.
bluemonday23, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Relationships, 0
So I guess I just realised something. My parents know nothing about me as a person anymore. I don't...
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New relationship.
naomijane, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Infidelity, PTSD, Relationships, 2
my stomach feels twisted and sick with anxieties. I need to vent!! so here goes: ok so i've been...
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The Feeling Called Love
depressednstressed, , Depression, Child, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Grief, 2
I had a dream the other night. It was about some guy I had never met before but he...
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So tired of this city
MenWithVen, , Depression, Career, Questions, Relationships, Stress, 1
My “Monday” is tomorrow. I can't shake this feeling of dread. I don' t understand it; I used to...
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Why I believe “entering within” may be the keys to longevity in life.
alexismonique, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Marriage & Family, Chronic Pain, Questions, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, Therapy, Weight Loss, 0
Introduction Parkinson’s. Fibromyalgia. Chronic fatigue. Gastrointestinal issues. Cancer. Seizures. Do you know what all of these things have in...
You really paint a picture with your words. I felt what you are feeling. I know what you mean about people not understanding, that's why I love the tribe so much