Does anyone have any tips on how as an adult child, living at home, I can get my father to: 1- Communicate more effectively. 2- Take constructive criticism about the way he does communicate.?
For the past two months I have calmly asked many times for my father to acknowledge me when I speak. Let me know he heard me. Also, to give me the attention I deserve when I'm speaking to him. I'm not getting anywhere. Today, I got mildly upset at him about it. He asked to speak with me about something. So, I went to him to talk. He said his part then turned to the computer and ignored me. Three seperate times as I was talking he asked me what I had said. When I pointed out he wasn't paying attention to what I was saying, he said he was reading something online. Uh, yea- He asked to speak with me then when he is done talking assumes the conversation is over. Don't I have a right to put in my input and ask questions? I know I do. Other times he simply doesn't respond at all. He is almost 66. I wonder sometimes if he beginning to become hard of hearing. This is part of the reason I ask him to acknowledge me since I am not sure.
I don't know how to handle this. I even talked with my psychologist about it. He wants me to bring him in for a family therapy session. However, the last time I did that, my father monopolized my session complaining about me. We never even got around to discussing fully why I had brought him there. So, I don't think therapy would do much good.
I want to be acknowledged. I hate being ignored. It makes me feel unworthy. Like I don't matter enough. Like what I have to say is not important.
My father is always quick to criticize me and my mistakes. I feel like I try to improve on these things. I take medicine, I discuss it in therapy, I reflect. I am the only one trying to change.
It doesn't seem fair to have to do all the work to make this living arrangement work. He needs to change his ways too. But, what I hear from people is he is set in his ways and I can't expect him to change.
I can change all I want but, if he doesn't give a little this is not going to get any better as far as communication goes.
So, please any advice would be helpful. I don't know how to handle his stubborness and lack of respect for me as an adult and as a person.