As anyone can tell im quite the confused one right now. Trying to find my place. I found out i got this virus in October 2015. This whole situation started at the end of June. In 3 days i was going to have a little girl. the father of her kissed me on the forehead that night and said ill be back in one hour i love you. well he didn't return that night. He asked for a break to get himself together. I was more than willing i knew all the stress we were under. He said he still loved me and just needed some time to himself. i being with him for 7 years said ok. yes we have had a very up and down relationship for many years but we were good. he was there for the birth of our daughter, he would come over everyday and spend time with us and go back where he was staying at night. seemed like things weregoing to just get better with this and time. he came over one morning with hickeys all over his neck. ( yes i was angry mad upset) i didn't know what to do. we talked he was with another female. we had started sleeping together cause he said he still wanted to be with me. The biggest thing was he was looking at prison time soon. He went to prison at the end of August. He was not able to contact me only threw letters. He told me he was sorry for everything and coming home. He was sentenced to 18 moths. Now im a mom with 4 kids doing it on my own. He calls me in October to tell me he had a blood test done and he was positive. He had only been with one person since me and that was her. I was tested recently cause of my pregnancy. after finding that out i reached out to her for support. She had said sorry and we stated to form a friendship. we did not bring him up plus he promised me he only received a letter stating she was positive. come to find out they have been talking the whole time. they were together for 20 days and they both say they love each other. well i stopped communication how can he be doing this to me and our kids and now im sick. well i have been to counselors and i am on my meds i started talking to him again on Christmas eve i don't want to loose the father of my children or someone i love. we both have been wanting an open relationship for years but didn't know how to go about it. well her and i are both bi sexual. We thought that she maybe would be ok with trying a relationship with all of us. So we both have been talking to her and she is open to the idea but not with me just him and someone else. He has told me if she feels that way she can walk. Honestly after all the lies and broken promises do i believe what he says. i want to believe them but i don't want to be hurt again. She said she doesn't want to be with me cause him and i have kids together and a long relationship.i feel she is trying to push him away from me and our kids andhe means the world to his kids.So heres why im so confused and i really don't know what to do. I also want to think that i can have someone that wont lie and wont take advantage of me. But with just having this virus its scary to think no one will ever want to be with me because of this. i hope to find my way and let things just happen. wish there was someone i could talk to about this but the whole virus and bi thing seems to scare my supporters i have around me HELP!

4 Comments
  1. Toguy 8 years ago

    Just hold on, it gets easier with time

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  2. PrincessWarrior 8 years ago

    Oh your story is very familiar. I feel like saying let him rot! But that's just my own experiences. I too was just 18 when I fell for an older, bad boy who was so not worth my time. I fell for his crap and ended up pregnant (mom warned me) he was bad news. 2 months later he was picked up for jumping parole and I pregnant told in window period of HIV and tested again… being told I had 10 good years and to abort. Hell no. I had my baby and put myself through college. I would fight and give my son the best of me. He is 20 now and with honors in computer science. I am so proud. Short story…let go of that heavy baggage you carry. He cant go anywhere he is locked up. Focus on you, make your life great, don't waste time. You will find love. I was shocked to hear from men who dated me they didn't fear me. They knew I was a good mom, good person and would never put them in harms way. I was always honest. I met my husband 10 years ago and we now have a daughter. He is negative. Life goes on if you choose to live it 😉 And the ex bad boy sits in z Florida jail facing yet again more charges. He couldn't change but I could. I prefer my life now.

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  3. livinlife7 8 years ago

    Wow ur amazing thank u! I am trying to let go it takes time and lots of good people. I am doing okay right now. I hope to continue on my journey and live my life. I wont let this define who i am. Thank u so much u gave me chills reading ur story!

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  4. livinlife7 8 years ago

    Wow ur amazing thank u! I am trying to let go it takes time and lots of good people. I am doing okay right now. I hope to continue on my journey and live my life. I wont let this define who i am. Thank u so much u gave me chills reading ur story!

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