I am sick to death of people trying to control everything in my life. They are not in my shoes. I wish I never had to tell anyone about my life. I have to do what I have to do.

What I am upset about is that I am moving only 20 miles away from friends and family. They have it that I am making a huge mistakes and act like I am trying to hurt them.

Hubby and me are doing the best we can living on one pay check. Right now he is driving 40 some miles a day back and forth to work. Where we are moving, work is just a very short 5 minutes drive. He will have more time to sleep and spend with me.

Before making this decision I tried to work it out with my step-father to live with them and help him care for my mom who has alheizmer's. He said it would be too hard on him to have us there and accused us of trying to move in and take everything they had. What a slap in the face. We only wanted to watch out for them. My step-father is 81 with a bad heart and lungs. If he had a heart attack my mom doesn't even know how to dial 911.

He never stops and considers that I am not in good health either. He wants my help but on his terms.

Today I told my best friend that I was moving that did not go over well. She has been distant since last fall when I became ill with Bell's Palsy and a bad infection. Thought it was strange that she was staying away so much. She still called me once a week but seemed angry with me without coming right out and saying she is angry with me for whatever I have no clue. Today she just kept saying, OK!

What about your mom? Even laughing at times like she was laughing at me for being a fool just because I was moving.

I thought she would be happy for us that we found a bottom floor apartment with handicap access. It is a gated community, with alarm and even has washer and dryer. What is going to be nice is there is a pool there. I can exercise in the pool every day. Good thing, right? Yes, I will have to learn the area which hubby and I plan on doing. That's the normal thing to do, right? Still can drive out to see mom with hubby. What's the problem? Why can't they be happy for us? This is one of the reasons I have shut myself up in this house lately. Seems people only like me when they can get something from me. When I do what I think is best,I am wrong in their book.

Why do I even care if they are angry with me or not? Because I happen to love them. Just don't understand where they are coming from.

3 Comments
  1. Lost_Bella 11 years ago

    Well first off i am happy that u found a place ur safe and happy at with ur husband. Now as for others being happy for u. Not everyone can see ur point of view. Sometimes they will judge u because they r either jealous or just plain dont understand why u do the things u do. But the best thing for u now is to feel well and get better and thats what ur doing. Nevermind what others think, especially when it comes to family. Family will always think ur doing wrong or out to get them which i myself never understood. U would think they would be more supportive of u and happy for u. Friends i have only 2 and the reason is they have not understand my illness. I tried to explain but they either say "get over it" or i think ur not doing the right thing. So i stopped caring what people think and i feel alot better and happier about it. All that matters is that ur happy and ur husband is happy no one else. Life is hard as it is n u dont need someone making it harder for u if they cant be supportive. Enjoy ur new place and swimming ik would if i could. Tc for now.

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  2. viannathumblina 11 years ago

    Thank You!  I completely understand when you say friends don't understand your illness and expect you to just get over it or you're not doing something right.  I go through that continuously.  I am sick to death of it.  My best-friend says to me apparently your not taking care of yourself or you wouldn't be sick so much.  She also says you must enjoy being sick.  Just yesterday she told me that I was just like her mother.  Her mother is going through depression really bad.  My friend says you and my mother are just alike she'll never change and neither will you.  She says I dwell on my problems and let it consume me.  She tells me to get over it.  My problems are not everything.

    Sometimes I want to just scream because she is not in my shoes to understand what an ordeal I am going through.  She has a good life with very few problems.

    Hoping to get to the point of not caring what anyone thinks.  That's why I have come to this site.  Reading others experiences seems to really help make you stronger.  For some time I was believing that I was wrong in my thinking.  Now I see that I am entitled to living my life according to my and my husbands needs. 

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  3. cleopardi 11 years ago

    i am glad u found a place.  i don''t know why people say or do things they do.  i know better but i keep thinking my parents will be supportive, and everytime i am dissapointed it not like i am a kid i am an adult.  but i guess u never stop tring to get support from ones u love.  so just be happy for yourself and maybe they will come around in time.  cindy

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