feeling better but still avoiding things I should be doing ie.. finding a job the recent job lost a month ago has left me low in hope and low in self esteem I have become so lazy and just spend my time watching tv eatting and just plan doing nothing I worked at a factory and feel I was horibly miss treated it is dominately male I now they are very anti female my boss was a major asshole nothing I ever did was good enough I was made to feel stupid on a regular basis of course he has upper manegment in his back pocket as he kisses the right ass I know I must get a job I just am afraid of failure again I do no kiss butt I say what I want and what I feel which doesn’t get me any where.I lost another job 2 yrs ago for something I said to someone my mouth gets me in trouble. I am scared angry and tired of failure. losing my job meant losing my insurance which meant I could no longer aford effexxor so I just stopped taken anything I calle the dr he has put me on Celyxa 2 days ago I am hoping it helps xanax twice a day helps but it isn’t enough by its self. I hate getting out laziness has really set in I know I am in a rut I am over weight somedays I never get out of the sweats I slept in hence no bathing good grief thats bad putting it in words kind of brings it home a little I don.t clean house or do laundy not much anyway I have cooked some but not like you wouldthink someone who has nothing to do would I haven’t thouight of suicide much in the last 2 days not pretaining to me anyway so I guess thats an improvement. I am unhappy in my marriage he really isn’t a bad guy I just am not in love with him we have only been married scince Aug. I know thats just plan nuts……why did I marry him I guess because I thought or think it was or is Gods plan for me, we dated 9 yrs ago and I thought then we were suppose to be together so natuarly when we started dating again after 7 yrs I thought it was God. I am not sure if it is just my out of whack hormones I am in the midst of menopause I haven’t had my monthly for 6 months I have been going through menopause for atleast the last 5 yrs this is the longest I have gone so far they say full on menopause is reached after a year of not having your periods any way thats that being mentaly ill and menopausle isn’t a good combo I have sufered from depression forever well I can look back in my life and realize I was around 12 when I had episodes of depression.I must go wash the weeks worth of dirty dishes now.
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Living In The Moment
Proanamia, , Depression, Weight Loss, 1
Since I got out of the hospital, I can honestly say that I have been doing SO much better....
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You're only as free and you think you are.
revealed65, , Depression, Depression, Grief, Suicide, 0
The funny thing about depression is its ignorance. You are convinced there is nothing left, not even a speckle...
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Writing, arrogance, and impersonations
Naelmin, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Therapy, 0
I need get out there with an issue that has been a source of pain, not just for me...
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If feeling suicidal then please read
fali, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Religion, Self Help, Suicide, Therapist, Therapy, 2
If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five...
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Depression..in a box
JSPatrick, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Sex Therapy, Stress, 0
Today my writing continues my mind is still a tangled mess. Just when I think I am out of...
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Protracted plight
TessErin, , Depression, Depression, Religion, Suicide, 0
Friday: I find myself wondering what life would be like if I had the love for life I see...
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Feeling floaty
chunckywannabcurvy, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, 0
recently there have been big changes in my life and some improvements, of which i am still processing and...
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Lonely
huggygrrl, , Depression, Anger, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 3
I really don't have much to say because I'm not good at this kind of thing. My therapist thought...


















