RANT TIME:

So this lady write me email no. 375 about her damned horse. Only this time she's telling me the same thing I told her from day one. I'm not ready. I'm broke. etc. etc. And now she's telling me about another mare from Arizona, and I feel like SCREAMING at her, a million terrible inflectives. You don't dangle beautiful horses in front of someone that dreams about them, then yank them away. That's manipulation of the worst sort. I told that lady that she had a $10 grand animal and I was not worthy. My exact words. It was later on down the road after multiple emails and bs videos about this one horse that she finally starts to figure out that I'm not kidding. Broke is broke. See, she lives with a foreman on out-of-the-country off-shore drilling rigs. Married, she says. And says he's gone three months at a time. And that he starts drinking at 8:30 am and usually has 3 beers down before 10. That's crap. I'm sorry, but plain and simple and I don't have time, and I think it's a damned shame that a beautiful healing horse like Batman has to have a owner like that. I just hope he loves the woman enough to be good to her horse as well.

So after I blogged the two previous times here, she sends me the final kiss off, but oh so nice, with hopes and mega-details about this new horse of her "good" friend, jeez, I say, give it a rest for goodness sakes. But I'm a bipolar, sharp as a tack, and I let her have it a bit too strong I think. Nothing mean or vulgar but plain and simple what it is like to be without, to be poor, and just what a terribly cruel thing she did by going on and on about this one particular horse when I told her no no no… And I'm the perfect person for that horse in every way but financially. Simple.

When you're broke, you can't have anything new, like a new pair of boots. You dig down in the closet and you get the best ones out and you clean them up. You can't go spending retail prices for clothes when you know what the material costs, they've got pennies into those garments, including cheap Chinese labor, and asking the freakin moon… the day I pay $90 or more for a garment, it better sewn with 24K thread. That's all I got to say on that. I make my own stuff and it's awesome. Building a brand in fact. Doing well so far. If people like crazy horse lady would go give her million dollar horse to someone with bucks. Not me.

People are isolated right now. Don't think otherwise. Women like her are desperate and lonely. She's got a good thing going with her wealthy rough-neck who's 60 and addicted to alcohol. I wouldn't do it. Not for all the money and horses in Europe! I'd much rather be little old me, quiet, respectful, living within my own means, helping who I can, doing what I can to take care of the ones I'm committed to… I don't let other people make my decisions for me. That's silly.

So now that silly drama is done for a while, I can go back to what is important and doable and fun for me. I won't make excuses. I'm getting for the worst. I'm expecting the worst simply so I won't be caught off guard. I may not be prepared in the best sort of way, but no one will be able to say that old CissyBlue was totally unprepared. I may not have Sir Lancelot's mount, or Joan of Arc's horse, to ride off into the sunset on, but I expect I'll have whatever I really need, when the time comes. Whatever my fantasy is, whatever my bubble is made of, it's my bubble, darn it! Leave it be! 🙂

Pretty soon you guys are gonna see a real funny post. I'm gonna write my real and final personal ad for whomever, whatever… hahaha it should prove to be pretty laughable.. Then, I'm really gonna put it all over the place, and watch that drama unfold. hahaha Well, heck, I'm not quite dead yet, and it's fun to talk to guys. I'd love to have a good girlfriend to chat with and have coffee with, but after this last totally overwhelming disaster, I'm ready to go back to work, slow and steady in the driveway… like the rainman… remember? Excellent, in the driveway… later gators, you guys better message me and say hi once in a while… it would be nice… Summer!