So it is day 1 after a long weekend of drinking. I am going to give this everything i can. i need to stop hurting the kids and wife. i really don’t know why they have stayed this long, after all i put them through they really are the best and deserve better than me.
I have been a drunk for about 40 years now, I started young, around 12. I am not sure how i made it this far but here i am. 40 years of binge drinking nearly every weekend.and this weekend was no exception. so like i said day 1 stomach is twisted i am sweating, shaking, hating myself and what i do, you know the usual Monday.

it started Friday and bled all through the weekend, to the tune of a bout a liter and a half of vodka. I don’t even really like it anymore i hate the feeling, the hate and the hangovers then the detox all week just to start again on the next friday.
The question is how do i stop. I am hoping that writing like this will help. but I am also hoping that i can find some support here to get me through the hard spots. I know i need to change, but I have a question, what do sober people do? I have been doing this so long I have no clue what to do with out my vodka. it has become such a large part of my life i really am not sure what to do with out it.

anyway read this comment or not. I am just trying to get out some of how i feel. hopefully i will be able to do better in the future. I am not really used to expressing my self but to accomplish this goal i am willing to try.