Well my day didn't get any worse which is a good thing. I'm really tired due to the lack of sleep last night but that isn't a surprise. I spent the evening with my lady, bless her heart she didn't seem to good due to certain things that have let her down. I wish I could do more for her at times like this, but I guess all I can do is be there for her and believe in her.

As for me, there seems to be alot of things swirling around my head. I wish I had some focus or some want in my future. I don't want to just get by anymore, or keep dragging through. I wish I could be enthused by my life.

I worry about what people think of me, in the sense of the person I have become. It can't say alot that I have gone from a Uni student, working hard and being social. To someone with nothing, no friends, no Uni, stuck at home. Alot of my friends have decided to leave me behind or walk away and to be honest I don't really blame them, I can't have much of an appeal right now…which is another reason why I am amazed that my girl loves me. I have nothing to offer her when so many other people can and so much more like all of the belongings, security and future she could want. I couldn't take letting her go though, she is everything to me.

I am hoping this week can give me that bit of enthusiasm to take into next week and keep building day by day, week by week. I need to break my cycles and give to myself a bit more. I need to live.

But where to start, I don't know.

FarReaching.