I got up today and decided that I was going to make it worth my while. I had a decent breakfast, good cup of tea and began watching a series I’ve recently come to enjoy. All the while I’m thinking how best to approach the topic of “the talk” with the guy I’m…well, I don’t know what we are currently. I think that’s the problem. How can I have “the talk” with him, about what we are to each other, where this is going, when I don’t readily know myself? He finally told me, after weeks of thinking about things and getting his head right, that he loves me. But of course, being my mental OCD self, I’ve turned a simple comment into the whole girl-stressing thing. Wondering what this means now, where we go from here, etc. So I’m trying to enjoy the little things I’m doing today, but my mind keeps wandering to what is going to happen when we finally can sit down and discuss things. If he puts me off and doesn’t want to discuss it, I don’t really know how I’m going to feel about it. Then I constantly ask myself do you want to go forward with it or do you want to slow down and feel things out? Thing is, I feel like I’ve “felt out” already. I know how I feel: I love him, have since the day we met. And I’m in love with him, for over a year now. But I don’t know if he loves me or is in love with me. I think that’s the part that’s really bothering me. If he just loves me, the way you do family or friends…you know, you appreciate what they do for you, like how it feels when they’re around but don’t have to see or be with them every day…but isn’t in love with me I don’t know how to feel about that. And then I start wondering, well am I really in love with him? I miss him when he’s not around, I don’t like it when I don’t hear from him every day, I look forward to seeing him and feel a bit let down when plans don’t mete out. So is that really being in love, or am I just co-dependent? I guess that’s what is bothering me the most about the prospect of having “the talk.”