So I'm thankfully one of those people who learn from other's mistakes. This comes in handy when I need to make a decision. A small decision that is… Big decisions however, not so much… Because with the decisions that I struggle on are things like college or moving or where I should live or what tattoo I should get, should I really even get a tattoo, or do I really need an industrial piercing…. I'll admit some of those are quite as big but for me still important (cause the tattoo is permanent and the industrial can be permanent). With my big decisions, many people have gone through the same experiences and have many different outcomes. So what could be a bad decision for one may end up being the best decision for another. And it comes down to the person on whether it will work or not. So that's why I struggle with big decisions because though I may learn from other's misfortune, I also take note of other's fortune. And it makes it difficult for me to determine on whether my situation will be misfortune or fortune….

So I'm sure you're just dying to hear this delema I'm having…. And some of you may hate me for it. Sort of. My boyfriend is moving… To a different state. And wants me to come with him. He's willing to wait until I graduate but only if I say I will move with him. And if I don't move with him, that's kind of it between us. It would be just too far for us and we would quite literally never see each other. We've been together for about 3 years now (will be 3 years in September)… And we're young…. I'm 17 soon to be 18 and he just turned 20 today (Happy B day to him!) (Let's even not discuss the age difference because I am so worn out on that). And I know most of you are going to be like oh you're young! Don't do it! It will never work out! It's never a good idea to move directly in with a boyfriend, let along change a state for him. But I know some of you, even if its just a small handful, are going to be like you're young! Live in the moment! Why not?! There is always a chance y'all could end up making it. Because the general consensus is that probably 80 percent of you will say nah while the rest will say go for it. Logically speaking, I would say nah as well. But let's face it, love specially young love is far from logical….

I have found a nice college not even fifteen minutes from the small town he wishes to move into that would be quite nice to go to. The tuition is not all that nice but it's a college so what do you expect; and they offer my major and minor… I even meet the 'perfered requirements' which gives me a higher chance of getting accepted in. There are a lot of job opportunities around the area and, though I have never been there, my boyfriend assures me there are quite a lot of nice people and it's a gorgeous place to be. When looking at it without the boyfriend, I would probably move there in a heartbeat. I've always lived in a big city and would love to not live in a big city. Lol. I'm a country girl at heart… But then I remember, one of the major reasons why I'm in thinking about moving there…

My boyfriend… And like what if we break up? It may sound terrible to think of and you may be like well if your doubting yourself now you might want to reconsider the whole relationship…. But I'm not doubting myself. I'm thinking logically. These things happen all the time. Two people who swear they were in love one day end up not the next… And though they may have really be in love, it still doesn't excuse the fact that they are now breaking up today and having to be single and realizing how bad they may have messed up… So what if we do break up? I would be in a state in which the only people I knew from the beginning, I am now no longer seeing. So I would in reality be alone. And though I will make friends, whose to say we will be close enough for them to pick me up from that big of a fall? And all of my family and friends lives here in the state I live in now… What about them? I mean I know my mother is moving out of state as soon as I leave but that still leaves my big sister and little brother. And what of my three best friends? (I know…. Kind of sad… Lol) I mean I've already calcuted the driving distance and that's a six hour drive from where I live now to that small town.

So I'm just thinking about this all, because I over think everything…. I suppose I know the answers to some of my questions but I've already made this long enough. No one will read it now. Lol. And its three in the morning right now so I really need to go to bed. School starts tomorrow. Today is my last day. And I'll probably sleep all day… Unless someone texts me or calls me to wake me up. Damn…. I really need to do that summer reading essay…. So I'll be doing that later today…. Great. Okay. Good night.


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