So…. It's been like forever since I've written or even really been on this site. I've just been really busy with summer school work and everything… I don't even know what to say honestly… lol.

I would say life right now is kind of normal. Life still sucks but I'm so used to it, it doesn't even really matter anymore. I think I've had two big melt downs since I've last got on… Both ended with me punching my door… Poor door, it's so skrewed up because of the abuse everyone gives to it… Anyways, the punches really didn't hurt until about the 30th or so punch that I gave it but, knowing me, I just kept punching it. I wanted to pain. I craved it honestly. but I was NOT going to go back to cutting myself. Summer time is the always the hardest to conceal anyways. People get suspicious if you are wearing a long sleeved shirt in 100 degree weather. And I know, i could cut somewhere less noticable, like my legs or stomach or even upper arm but I don't know…. I've tried them all and I only like that one spot. If anything, it helps me stop cutting since it's such a noticable area. So, I just punch things now. Never to hard where I draw blood but just enough. I'll do that for a while, till a bruise starts to form maybe…

I think I might take up yoga or something…. Something to do at the wee hours that I'm awake. I don't want to say that my insomnia is acting up again because it's not really that… My boyfriend doesn't get off of work till 3 in the morning and I stay awake so that I can talk to him. We both pass out around 4 and stay asleep till like noon. It's our routine…. It's very fun… (not) But it's basically the only time that I can talk to him. He always stays asleep till around 11ish and goes to work at 2…. So aside from the one or two hours that we talk before his work, we only have that one hour to talk after….. God, this f-ing sucks… I'd rather see him but that also proves to be tricky with a mother that curses the whole relationship…. So, we talk… barely but enough.

OMG!!! Our two year annerversary is coming up though! in like two months!!! So excited. But I don't know what to get him…. I have trouble giving gift. It may be because I'm broke but even with money, I am just terrible at giving people gifts. I never know what they want, specially with my boyfriend. Whenever I ask him what he wants, he just says all he wants is me (he's kind of corny *Giggles* but I love it!). I can't just not get him something for our anniverasary. Expecially when he always gets me the most amazing gifts. God, I do love him…. So i gots to think about it… If anyone wants to give me some ideas I would LOVE IT!! Thank you in advance!

I just organized my whole room the other day and I must say, I am in such a better mood because of it. It feels clean and I have like three shelve just filled with pointless things that represent me on my bookself (I had a lot of extra space once it was all organized and cleaned out). I'll have to note that for future reference. Who would have guessed that a clean and organized room would boost up someone's mood?

Anyways, this is really long and I'll be shocked if someone actually read it but I wrote it anyways… lolz! Have a nice day peoples! lol!


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