I drove home yesterday from college hoping for a peaceful weekend. To my surprise, I woke up promtly at 7:30am. Looks like my body was trying to get me up for my anatomy class this morning, that I obviously am not attending.
I've heard from a lot of people in my hometown when they found out I was in the area. At least it reassured me people know I still exist. Also, of course I get a phone call (that I've been waiting for all week) from a certain someone asking what I was up to last night. Too bad he is back at school and I'm 3 hours away. Figures. I was planning to go back early to go to a party of his on Saturday, but I've made committed plans to visit a close friend at a nearby college for the night. Normally I'd bail on my friend for the sake of furthering something that could give me compainionship, but I talked myself out of bailing. Isn't it funny how i went ALL week without hearing from absolutely anyone (at school or home) and then in just one day I hear from a good 8 people? I won't get my hopes up that this will continue.
Here's where it gets tricky…
The moment I walked into my house I felt like nothing had changed. I immediately was immersed in comfort and normality. A little bit of happiness began to creep up on me. So maybe being away really is contributing to my depression? Although I haven't wanted to admit that. I didn't feel this way about home last year, so why do I now? I almost don't want to leave this house and go back to my dorm. My dorm has an "empty" feel to it that reminds me how alone I am. The comfort of being home reminds me I'm not alone.
The only thing I know for sure is that I couldn't be more confused, about absolutely everything happening right now.