I feel like I'm' slowly drift away bit by bit. Each layer of life slowly peeling away revealing what pathetic truth lies beneath it. I recently pushed away my best friend and a few of my other close friends are moving away with their famiilies. I have nothing to look forward in life. My social life is spending countless weekend evenings watching tv. I often wonder about the various ways I could end this turmoil. I have no emotionally support whatsoever at home. My best friend is a narcissistic sexual deviant pig who I cannot share my feelings with. The only thing I have to look forward to is work which is overrated considering I'm clearly overpaid for the simple tasks I do and even that is starting to lose its appeal. I thought I could bury myself in materialistic goods, but truth be told, it cannot; money cannot buy happiness. I have yet to engage into a full relationship with another being. Ironically, the very thing that propels me to engage into a relationship is also pushing me away from social interaction for fear of rejection. My mother has OCD as well as a family history of retardation; perhaps I have it, too which would explain why I'm so alienated away from family and friends. I once felt important guiding the very mutual acquiantances I had that trusted me with intimate details about their relationships, but that is no longer is the case. I think I'm in the wrong field; studying psychology when I clearly am suffering from major depression among other things. I feel that nobody truly understands me. I'm not even quite sure why I even googled this site and started blogging. Maybe this will do me some good until I take the final plunge. Pun intended (Nestea).
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Spring Break
Magik, , Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
It's not that I didn't /try/ to enjoy my spring break.. and it was sort of okay I suppose,...
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My Pronouns change…
Iris.Dar, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Teens, Uncategorized, Career, Religion, 0
Hey N, For every day use pronouns seem to be quite basic, and they feel like a crucial but...
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Bad night thoughts
zenofwater, , Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 1
So I have been awake since 2 this morning and it is now 5:52 am ugh I really wanted...
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Starting off
emilyaranha, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Eating Disorder, Relationships, Weight Loss, 1
so this is the first blog, and im kind of anxious to write something but im hoping that this...
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Could this really be?
timairhead220, , Depression, Child, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Therapy, 2
I never thought that I would be joining a website and talking to strangers about my feelings, its almost...
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Will I break?
gomizzou, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Therapy, 2
Triple whammy issues…actually more than triple really….10 months of investing my heart into a girl who I could never...
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Yesterday
Steph_jn, , Depression, Child, 2
Yesterday was an odd day. You all heard about the morning and afternoon in my last blog. The evening...
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Angry drunk
Le courage, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Questions, Relationships, 0
I am feeling like the world is crumbling down around me in the past month. So many people close...
I have felt like this recently. I used to have a small group of close friends, and last year I realized a few of them just weren't good friends so i stopped contacting them. Then my best friend moved halfway across the country. Then my boyfriend moved 3 hrs away for college and we broke up. I really don't talk to anyone anymore. I'm actually kind of jealous of you b/c you're a student! I'm 24 and feel like I'm wasting my life away b/c I'm not in college, feel so confused, don't know what I want. I want to be in school but don't know what i want to do. When family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, i feel embarrassed when relatives ask what I've been up to lately…b/c it's usually nothing! I feel kinda worthless most of the time.