I never thought I could possibly have met a great guy to date.  His name is Sam and I didn't expect to fall in love with him.  He is sweet and kind, but honestly at first when I looked at him…. not my type.  Right from the start, I could see I could be myself with him.  I told him about me being ocd and to my surprise, he also admitted that he has some ocd tendencies.  That was rare for me, to meet someone who also shared my anger and sometimes annoyance with doing things without reason just to relax.  We spent every weekend together for about three months, but when it came down to intimacy, I pulled back.  I would not really kiss him or anything more advanced.  You see, Sam was diagnosed with Hiv and it scared me to even think that I could catch it so I pulled back and last year lost him.. He and i stopped talking even though he got amazingly attached to my son, Caleb.  Well this past Saturday, my son had his State band competition and my ex wife and I were going to go see him compete.  She told me she had invited Sam and I was ok with that.  Well I contacted Sam to break the ice so it would not seem awkward when we were around each other then.  He actually wanted to know if I would like to ride with him up there.  I said sure sounds nice and would great to see you again.  He came down Friday night and stayed over.  We talked and laughed and even cuddled.  It was nice and even kissed… more then I had ever done with him before.  Right then I knew I loved him.  More started to happen and again I pulled back.  I am not sure of what to do.  Do I pursue him or let him go?  I have my son to think about and to be honest I don't want anywhere near hiv.  Not to sound mean.. It just terrifies me and i feel so bad for everyone who is suffering with it.  If i do pursue it, can I handle when he gets sicker and even passes on.  So I am at a no win situation here…