I'm getting pretty damn sick of this little game at work. I'm so frustrated with that little… Little… SNIT!!
M'kay, here's the story: When I first started my job, I was in Super-timid-mode and I hardly talked to anyone except the guy who trained me. There was one guy who was super nice and always helped me out despite me being new and not talking to anyone. Jamie was awesome to me and I was excited whenever we had work together 'cause I had someone to talk to. After a month or two Jamie asks me if I wanna go grab a burger with him after work and I said I would. We chilled, talked, and it was friendly— Then he picked up my tab even though I brought my own money. He told me he did it for everyone so I didn't think much of it, but when I went out to lunch with him on break he did the same thing even though I INSISTED I pay my own tab. After that, he wanted me to go out somewhere with him EVERY night. I kid you not, unless there was a sport's game on, he asked if I would go out with him. Every, freaken', night.
By this point I was friends with everyone. Even some of the people who I thought hated me were my friends and I even started learning Spanish I could have better conversations with the bussers. After the first time I grabbed a burger with him all the cooks and even some of the servers were asking me if we were going out. At first it was funny, but the questions and taunts got so frequent and worse that I finally asked the dishwasher if Jamie was going around telling anyone anything. Turns out the little imp had been going around telling everyone we were dating and that he's come really close to having his way with me. I asked him about it and he denied it, so me being me I believed him. We were friends and that's all we were.
Then came Adam.
Adam's a friend. Just a friend and nothing more. When he got hired we hit it off right away. He was funny, very nice, and he helped me out a lot; we basically tag teamed our tables since we were bordering sections. Well, one day I went out to lunch with Adam on break. Jamie wanted to go but Adam had to be back in less than an hour and Jamie wasn't getting off for another half an hour at the least. I told him we'd rain check on it and do it another time, and Adam and I left. I told Adam I kinda felt bad that we didn't have lunch with Jamie, but I knew we'd hang another time so I sorta let it go.
Once we got back to work, Jamie was PISSED OFF. He was angry and when I confronted him about it, he said to me: "I can't believe you did that with Adam, I thought WE went out to lunch. But it's not my business if you guys were holding hands and kissing and making out. I don't care that you guys are in love or anything." LOVE?! SERIOUSLY?! Jamie's 35, Adam's 31, and I'm 18. Do you think there'd be anything going on in that?! I told him too that he was being ridiculous, and he ignored me for two days before I cornered him and talked to him about it. We were cool again after the talk, and everything was fine.
Then, one day, completely out of the blue, Jamie's fine with me and towards the end of dinner he gets REALLY down. When he's in the back rolling silver wear, I ask him if every thing's okay and he blows up on me. "Man, Sara, you're just hanging around Adam all the time. Did you know he keeps dirty magazines in his car? I bet he didn't tell you that and you guys are always flirting and holding hands. I don't care that you guys kiss and go to bed, or anything, but if you don't want my friendship and want his love instead I don't want to feel obligated to be your friend. You know what? You're so two-faced. You're just getting around with everyone."
….. Two-faced. The bastard had the nerve to call me two-faced and insinuate I was a whore when HE was the one making all of that sh!t up!! I was so upset I didn't sleep that night at all and I got horrible stress acne. I told Heather, someone who you don't mess around with and will tell you stuff straight up, about what happened, and she told me I needed to defend myself. That he had no right calling me what he did. I was scared, but for the first time in my life I defended myself. I brought him into the back room, told him I didn't like being called names when he was the one being dumb, and he blows up on me again.
Over and over he keeps saying I'm the one being unfair. Rather, he keeps TELLING me that I'm the one picking Adam over him and that I'm getting around and that I'm throwing away our friendship. By this point I'm crying because I'm so angry (I don't handle being angry well) and I yell at him: "Friendship?! Are you sure you know that we're JUST FRIENDS?!" And he says: "Well I warned you when we went out for dinner it would take time to get to know each other to see where our relationship went! If you didn't want it to go anywhere why'd you go out with me on those dates, huh?! Now you're being a b!t3h and hooking up with people behind my back!!"
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. He called me a b!t3h, a whore, and two-faced. I told him: "When you're ready to shut up and listen, then you can talk to me again. Until then don't bother." He never apologized for any name calling and he felt just in it. I went right to Heather after that, she saw I was crying, and she was nice enough to take care of my tables when I got cut early. Since then Jamie hasn't talked to me, talks ill of me behind my back in Spanish (he doesn't know I understand A LOT more now than I did when I first started), and has gone around telling everyone how much of a whore I am. Of course no one believes him and everyone is, like, ten times nicer to me once they all found out I stood up to Jamie (news travels fast and no one really likes Jamie, so it turned out in my favor). But recently, it's like he's bi-polar. One minute he's glaring at me and I can feel mega-negative vibes coming off of him, and the next he's telling me I have tables in a super nice way; tonight he even offered me a ride home. I turned him down, and once he left I told Emma I'd rather walk on a bed of nails with no shoes than EVER ride with him, and I meant it.
I'm standing my ground on this one. I may be the younger one between us, but I firmly believe I am the one being more mature about this. I don't go around making up crap about him. I don't keep bringing it up just because I'm angry. For pity's sake he's twice my age and nearly old enough to be my dad or his brother! He's a short, fat, loud Mexican dude (I'm Mexican as well, so no offense meant, just putting a good enough profile up to get my frustrations out) who I refuse to give the satisfaction of knowing he's bringing me mental anguish again as of late. What do I do about his bi-polarness? Do I address it, or is that what he wants so he can get a fresh batch of bull to tell other people? I'm confused…
If you've read this entirely, THANK YOU. And you have the patience of a saint. I could really use some advice with my conflict. No way in hell I'm ever giving this man a chance, so how do I make it so clear he'll actually back off? Evidently breaking down in front of him/ignoring him isn't working.