Hello whoever wants to read this!
I’m so happy today and i just needed to tell someone and write it down. Things have been really hard recently – i imagine it has been for everyone here, but im finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I went home for the holidays for about a month to live with my family to try and get myself back together. Although my parents were a bit of a pain in the arse sometimes they really showed me that i need structure ad routine in my life to be happy. My sister was the most help, weve always been close but she was just brilliant and accepting of my depression when my parents couldnt get their head around it – she made me feel that there wasnt something majorly wrong with me and that I would be ok again.
When the holidays were over, I came back up to my flat at uni and my routine flew out the window: healthy eating, excercise, acceptable sleeping times and no naps flew out the window and got replaced by takeaways, lying around all the time, sleeping in and then throughout the day. It really isnt a surprise I felt bad again and had no energy!
Ive also been questioning alot in my life recently – whether or not my friends actually like me, whether my boyfriend and i are going to last because of the strain im putting on the relationship, whether i actually want to be me anymore…pretty life changing stuff!!!
I dont know how but something has just clicked in me. I need to get up in the mornings and get a routine in my life – its early days as this is only the thrid day iv had this routine but im so happy now! I dont feel like a failure because im making the effort to get things back on track which makes me so proud of myself.
In a previous blog i was ranting about how ridiculous the doctor i orginially went to was for just giving me a stupid website address with facts of depression and anxiety that i already know. But i was browsing it and came across a tiny little link for MoodGym which is based on CBT and impartial therapy – its kinda simple but the messages make sense, im really enjoying it – i makes me feel im working towards a healthier me: exactly who i want to be again.
I’m just so glad I woke up one morning and realised that if i want to get better im going to have to really work at it – its not just going to happen over night. I’m now so committed to being the healthy and happy person i want to be and to finally get this thing under control