So this is my first time doing this, it’s all new to me. But I’m feeling really lost and not sure where to turn but I feel like I need to get this out. My wife and I had been together for 4 years. She suffers from anxiety and depression and was recently diagnosed with bipolar depression. All of this made it really hard for her to hold a job and that caused a lot of fights and arguments between the two of us. Well about 3 weeks ago when she left a job that she was at for less then 2 weeks I finally broke and told her she needed to do something to help herself cause I couldn’t live like that anymore. Two weeks ago she moved 500 miles away to where her family lives. And today as we were talking she basically told me shes done. Shes been talking to someone else and she didnt mean for it to happen but it just did and she isn’t sure if a monogamous relationship is for her. That she has too much love to give for it to be for one sole person. I guess when she left I still held onto hope that we would end up back together. I mean were married, shes my best friend and as stupid as it sounds without her I have no one. I dont want to be the failure who is divorced at 25. I feel like my life is crashing and spiraling before me and now I have to pick up the pieces and start over.

2 Comments
  1. ashley88 2 months ago

    I have been with my husband for 10 years. I want things to work. He has depression as well and is able to hold down a job however how he has been treating me/our relationship the last few years has been up and down at best. Recently we had a huge discussion/fight and I told him he needs to do more. Seek more help, find things to make him happier something. I feel like I’m trying my best to fix the parts of me he doesnt like/has a hard time with to help him be a happier person but it doesn’t seem to matter. I’m terrified he will say I’m not enough and leave. He has talked to other people in our past years ago (before we got married 5 years ago) in an inappropriate fashion. We made it through but when he did those things our relationship was like how we are now, except we are worse now. I guess I dont have any answers for you but I know the feeling if wanting things to change and improve and to help them but also needing things for yourself. I hope you guys are able to work through things. I too am terrified to be a failure at marriage.

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  2. Author
    bjones13 2 months ago

    I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I understand trying to fix the things and make yourself a better person for your spouse. We have been talking and she really wants an open relationship. That’s always something I’ve been against but I never looked at it from any other point of view. And for the last few days we have had a more honest, open communication then we have had in a very long time. She was scared about what I would say if she told me how she was feeling about wanting an open relationship. We have been able to make compromises and set everything out. I cant even explain how good that feels. It gives us both hope that we can make things work and not loose our marriage. But one thing I do know is that you cant give up your own happiness just to keep yourself from losing someone. If it’s meant to be it will be. I hope you and your husband can work through things and get to a better spot. I know it’s not easy. If you ever need someone to talk to I’m always looking for new friends and I’m a great listener 🙂

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