I have always been a worrier, ever since I can remember.

I have always had a fear of the unknown, like I like to plan ahead, know what to expect, but life can’t always be like that. I have always struggled with just ‘going with the flow’, I like to at least know some details about where I am going, what I have to do etc. I would like to be more spontaneous and just be able to think ‘oh I’m going to do this today’ without having to plan every detail, but my anxiety holds me back every time.

I feel like I am no fun to be around sometimes and this gets me down 🙁 Like, I love to go out and do things with my boyfriend, my family, friends, but I have to know what is happening. In my head I know that it is impossible to be able to know EVERYTHING that will happen, I guess in a way I feel more in control if I can be prepared for something? This probably doesn’t make any sense and I wish I wasn’t like this! My boyfriend is so laid back and nothing phases him, he can handle anything and I admire him for that, I wish I could be more like that but I know I shouldn’t compare myself with anyone else. I guess this is just who I am…