Like so many of us, I allowed myself to be pressured into going to visit biological family for the holidays. Covid-19 concerns aside (we’re all vaccinated and haven’t seen each other for two years), I can’t believe I put myself in harm’s way by coming here. I’m not talking about physical harm either; I can’t believe I put my mental health and having a handle on my drinking at risk by coming here. It’s taken me years to get ahead of my depression and anxiety, and now I’ve put myself back in the situation that probably bred those issues.
I knew it was going to be tough coming home for the first time since coming out as trans and non-binary, but I didn’t anticipate just how crummy it would be for my mental health. I don’t know which one is worse, my mother’s vehement refusal to use my new *legal* name, or everyone’s overall disregard for my pronouns and invalidation of my whole experience. Its amazing how small people can make you feel.
I don’t think I’ll be coming back.