Feeling down and thinking of going to a free clinic today for mental illness support group. I just need to be around people who face the same challenges I do. I have no faith at this time because I see the amount of hypocrites that walk through the church door. In the meantime as a result of things I have been recently downsized at my job. I don\'t know how we are going to make ends meet but I imagine that eventually things will look up. I do believe in GOD but it is beyond me that I have to go to church with fake people and worship. My ex gets away with so much and the legal fees at this point are insurmountable. How they can take these 2 little girls away from a loving family and give them to a man who degrades women in general, has raped/molested and beat both me and them is beyond me. Doing the deed and becoming a father doesn\'t make a father. I will wait until he messes up as I can\'t do anything without him doing so. By him messing up though it will be these two little girls who suffer. I live in fear from him as he currently stalks me but I am told its coincidance and its a public place and I am being paranoid. How is a man showing up at a soccer game where his children aren\'t playing and his ex wife is not stalking. He has no business being there. However I can\'t make him go because he has rights. Where are my rights? I have had to quit the break I enjoy during the week to reduce stress because I am afraid. This is a horrible existance to worry all the time and wonder what if and know you can\'t do anything about it. ARGHHH I hate this.