I think I will just jump right in. Why am I here? Because I need to relate to someone. I feel so alone inside of my head. I feel like people think I am crazy. I would love to be normal, and walk through life with normal worries. But that’s just not the case for me.
I have been in and out of therapy since I was 12-iash. I am 29 now. I had a break from therapy and I have now put myself back into therapy. I have relaized that I will never have a successful relationship if I do not work some shit out. I recently found out that I have OCD and PTSD.
I have been dating someone for about 8 months now and I have been up to my old crazy ways of thinking. My life is a series of questioning and developing irrational scenarios in order to validate my feelings. In turn, I end up feeling like I am constantly being tricked, cheated on, lied to, and abandoned. This probably occurs a few times a week.
That is why I am here. To find others who feel the same way that i do. To find possible solutions. My biggest problem are the thoughts that cause me anguish, fear, anxiety, worry, and sadness. I get very irritable and take it out on everyone. I don’t want to hurt the people around me and I don’t want to be trapped inside this school of irrational thought.
I just started prozac like a week ago. It’s a big deal for me because I do not like the idea of taking meds. Perhaps, that is the OCD talking. I decided to give it a try because I am afraid I will die if I don’t do something. This illness is waring on my soul and I just want some relief.