I never post on here .. but I felt that today it was necessary. I am a college student that has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I have been struggling with anxiety since I was about 10 years old , I just didnt know what it was back then obviously..that feeling of desperation and panic.. the what ifs the did that happen or am I overthinking it..etc etc… I have slowly but surely learned how to deal with panic attacks, they used to be much worse when I was younger. Till I was about 16 I would weekly have an episode and hyperventilate like a straight up flail. Today , I wish I could say I am much better but I am far from it. I have a huge problem with detachment , I am currently going through yet another breakup with a partner of 4 years ( on and off ) . Very unstable and lots of grudges that I hold against him , therefore I refuse to be his girlfriend and am trying my best to learn to be happy alone. He is still in my life , somewhat here and there…but barely. About six months ago I attempted my first act of what you would call…self harm. I immediately seeked help within the next few days , I went from councelling to a GP and was placed on cipralex , I started off on a really low dosage of Escitalopram (trade name Cipralex), a drug that belongs to the group of medications called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). I can't quite remember what it was I think it was something like 4 days of 5mg and worked my way up to 10mg for about 2-3 weeks . With absolutely NO difference in my mood and constant racing thoughts I was desperate for help so on my next appointment my GP decided to move me onto a different SSRI called Sertraline ( trade names Zoloft, Lustra ) . I started on a dosage fo 25 mg , up to 50mg steady for about 5 months and am now tapering back down to 25mg. I felt the effect of this almost immediately. Three to four days in I felt an increase in energy, less crying , less racing thoughts ..etc. I must say , my anxiety was for the most part completely gone a MONTH in. It helped me cope with school and life a whole lot..but now I am afraid of becoming dependant . This is why I have decided to taper off , the tapering process was about 3 weeks of one day 50mg and the next 25mg . Today ,I am finally only taking 25 mg everyday from now on. However … I DO FEEL ANXIOUS. Today had to be by far the worst. I for one threw up everything I ate , felt claustrophobic and anxious as SH-T. I just drank a big cup of St.Johns Worts tea..it is said to be just as effective as some SSRIs…however you are not suppose to drink this tea if you are already on an SSRI.. <- This is something I found out AFTER drinking the tea -_- . Anyway , I just thought Id spill my brains out on here for once , I usually come online here and there to read and to check out the chatroom.. but tonight I am sharing a bit of what I have gone through and what I am continuing to go through… any feedback ..comments ..below xoxo

 

 

Miss Novacane

 

 

 

 

1 Comment
  1. sasha1969 8 years ago

    Dependant….I knwo that in order for me to be able to live a quality life I will always be on meds.  I have a chemical imbalance.  I see nothing wrong with taking meds that improve your life.  It has always made me a bit nervous when soemone says, "I am stopping meds becasue I think I am dependant".  THere are worse things to be dependant on.  I am sorry you feel you need to stop, especially if they are helping you. 

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