I did it! I finally made that call to my doctor! All that anxiety for 3 minutes and 11 seconds on the phone. And my heart was racing afterward. *rolling eyes at self*
Then I had the fun experience of having the water get cold after about 15 minutes in the shower. I turned off the water to let it warm up while I lathered up. Turned it on again; it was so cold I couldn't stand it. So I boiled water and mixed it with cold water and poured it over myself to rinse. It's stuff like this that makes me avoid taking showers. Why did my dad have to get that new water heater? Grrr. Stupid thing. It's electric and smaller than the old one which ran on propane. The stupid thing is that when the water's cold it doesn't make me work faster; it increases my anxiety, making me take longer scrubbing. Anyway, glad that's over.
I got tochat withone of mychildhood best friendslast night; that was an awesometreat. I eventold her about my OCD. Only the secondfriend I've told. She's such an awesome friend, just as she always has been. I'm so blessed to know her.
Sooo, I'll be 23 in less than a month. Wa-hoo. All I can think about is thatI need to make a doctor appointment for around that timereally soon or Iwon't get any of my meds.
I've been giving intoa lot of compulsions the last few days. Yesterday, I even started cleaning andtearing off some of my toe nails that needed to be trimmed (a few of them tear off nicely, thenjust need to be filed)after work while I wasstill at the church where I work. I don't think myfriend noticed, but it was ridiculous. (I had to air out my feet 'causemy socks were too thick for wearing inside. So then I noticed mynails neededto be trimmed…. Nobody wasaround but myfriend that I work with, and she was doing other things, but still….)
Today, I was obsessively pluckinghairsout of moles, etc. with tweezers. Even startedplucking some of my leg hairs (nope didn't shave them this time). Also started being obsessive about trimming my nails, etc. I'm hearing a songin my head: "Obession! Obsession!"to the tune of "Tradition"fromFiddler on the Roof. 😛