A wise person said that we tend to put more energy toward the toxic people in our lives instead of the better people and ourselves

It makes a big difference.   What is my approach to the toxic people that I am unable to cut out? I put them on the neutral topics only, be busy / cut it short when around them and avoid without appearing to do so list.

I also was thinking about how time changes people.  The people who have drifted out of our lives keep changing as time passes.   We change as well.   We really can’t go back to pick up where we left or completely.  In some cases, we can’t go back to how things were with them at all.    They can become strangers.

Gaslighting means doubting yourself.  It is something others can project onto you.   Also, you can even doubt your own reality from being exposed to a toxic person.   If you were abused as a child, expect it is possible that you don’t give yourself permission to feel how you feel.   All of you feelings are okay.   Even if no one understands, your feelings are valid.  If someone tells you otherwise, put it put a them on the toxic list and protect your heart around them.

We all have the option to make choices in our lives.   We can control, maintain, and improve  some things. The things we can’t control, are just out of our control.   Accept it.

Betrayal/ heartbreak/ loss  can be a huge challenge.   The secret to surviving betrayal / heartbreak/ loss / job loss (etc) is to let yourself mourn without a time limit.   Yet, limit the length of daily mourning.  It could be thirty minutes a day or a hour daily.   Schedule it into your day.

Here is a check list of daily things that you need to make happen even if your heart isn’t into it and you feel discouraged

-drink liquids

– eat some food

– wash your body with soap and water

-brush your teeth / floss

-wash hair if needed (or dry shampoo) whatever works for your hair type

-cut your nails and toe nails

-put on going out in public type clothes even if you don’t have any place to go

– go outside for five minutes

– do something for a pet, your plants; or other people

– schedule in a enjoyable option that is realistic for your situation (maybe you have a bike you can ride, a hobby, create art; self care etc)

-wash your face everyday and use sunblock

– rinse your mouth with either homemade peroxide mouthwash or store bought.   It will whiten your teeth and may help clean what you miss when floss between your teeth and the bacteria on you tongue

-if you gums are sore, fighting a sore throat or have a cut in your mouth / use a salt water rinse made from salt and water a few times a day

-if you feel like crying/ go on and cry.    It is a beautiful and normal thing to have and express emotions.   Tears are healing.   Scream while driving.  Express yourself.  You deserve to feel mentally healthy.   You are responsible for your own mental health.   If you need doctors, therapists, medications/ take care of it.

–  Other options free and cheap options are keeping a journal, moving your body, taking natural over the counter mood elevating supplements, calling the Samaritans hotline or emotional support hotline to talk to someone, water a plant everyday

If you are feeling discouraged about life remember….

When it is cloudy, remember the sun is always shining somewhere.   It will shine again.  It is coming    Things will get better for you.   You will learn, thrive and grow.