Hello. I guess I'm gonna start this out by saying that depression is taking over me rapidly. I guess I'll start when I got expelled last year, because that's when it all began.

Last year, I was expelled from my school for accepting pills. I beat myself up for it, I still do (not literally. I just look bad and tell myself it was the most stupid decision, which is was.). My mom and dad weren't too happy about it either. I got the punishment I deserved, yadayadayada, but while I was away from all my friends and couldn't talk to anyone but my parents, I started to feel lonely. Like no one really cared and that the only way you could be happy in life is if you find your true love. I still believe that. A couple months later, I become best friends with a girl I knew since 3rd grade. We really never talked until we decided to go see a movie together with some other friends.

I knew her as a nice, well-mannered girl, but then things decided to change after she started going out with some guy. She is still going out with him now. At first, she was cussing and I know we are teenagers and all, and teenagers cuss all the time, but she was using cuss word after cuss word after cuss word, which she used to only cuss at the most a few times a week. Then, my mom decides to put us in a camp. Well, my best friend decides that she hates it and doesn't want to be there, so plop, we get kicked out of camp. And I promise you, that time, I physically beat myself up about it.

I'm on restriction for a month, no phone, no computer, no television, no friends, have to get up at 7 and do chores all day until around 10. It wasn't fun, and the added pressure onto that was my mother physically beating me up. She would pin me down on the ground and yell stuff at me to make me feel bad about myself. And the thing was, I really didn't do anything at the camp. I didn't necessarily get kicked out of the camp, they asked me if I wanted to leave and I didn't want to stay there by myself, so I told them yes, I wanted to leave. I didn't think the punishment fit the crime. It isn't right to physically and mentally abuse your children.

I got a therapist, and she knows about the abuse and my mom hasn't done it since, thank goodness. I still love my mom, even if she has some issues to get through.

After I got off the restriction, I found out my friend was having sex, and started doing weed, drinking alcohol, and taking pills. I felt like it was my fault because if I had been there she would have never done it, since I had gotten expelled for drugs myself. I'm on vacation with my dad now, but I get back Sunday and then school starts. I talk to her everyday on the phone and we talk about how she's doing and if she is doing any better with all that stuff. She says she has learned her lesson because one day she had to go to the hospital for taking pills and drinking it down with vodka. Her mother knew about it, but her mom isn't as strict as mine, so she only had the computer taken away for about a day or so.

I just hope that things get better with her. I love her so much. She's my best friend and all I can do is hope for the best for her.