I've been needing to say this for a while but was worried about people i know finding my account and not telling me because i would rather tell people in person firstif they already know me. If you do know about thisthen please tell me.
I'm a boy trapped in a girls body. (not the same as being a lesbian)
I'm not a lesbian because i can't be physically attracted to girls and the thought of doing stuff with them doesn't feel right.
I feel like it's the reason for a lot of my problems. I've never felt attatched to the gender i was born into and find it disgusting and frustrating that i am. I find it disgusting that people of the oppsite sex are attracted to me and i feel like really hurting them when they are. I've had to change the way i feel about it slightly to try and take it as a compliment but how can i when it's so disgusting the way people judge you by your appearance. If a girl ever fancied me i would have felt really amazingly good about myself. I don't understand girls because i'm not going in the same direction as them. it's taken me ages to work that out but i think that's why. I don't understand girls sense of humour, only mens (that was what origionally made me accept it). I can't be a girl. I've been trying to be a girl all my life and i've tried my hardest and i will never understand it. I don't understand them. Before you say i'm asexual, i'm thinking about 'it' aslong as i'm concious and not ill. I don't at all want to do thing's with girls but if i was was born in the right body i would definately know which ones i would. I want to have sex with a man but i couldnt because i'm one of them and i can't explain what it is unless your a straight man youd understand what the thought of not wanting to have sex with another man would be like. The thought just feels like the most wrong and horrible thing ever. Physically i want to and physically i feel attracted to them but it's mentally.
I find girls mentally sexually attractive all the time. Because i'm a boy and i'm the opposite of them mentally, and i don't understrand them. I don't ever want to get a sex change but i want to start dressing as one so men will leave me alone and people will just understandwhere i amstriaght away. I'm never going to have a relationship with a girl because its never something i could physically want to do or feel right doing and i'l never be able to have a relationship with a man because they are a man like me and it would be horrible, i would rather die. There is one option but i'm too embarassed to say it yet. But this is one of the reasons life is so hopeless, even though actually it is'nt but i can't explain why yet. I will say eventually.