So two days ago the most amazing thing happened my favorite band in all the world played a free concert! It was We The Kings!!! I have waited 6 years to see them because everytime they came to ohio they were either only playing in a bar or some family issue came up or no one could get me there but now I saw them! I had the oppurtunity to meet them but my brother was sick adn I was coming down with something from waiting in line for 2 1/2 hours through rain and hail so we left so we could get home before 2a.m.
However as I was on my way there my mawmaw called me and told me that Jackson my 4 month old cousin had died around 5 a.m. and no one knew why. He wasnt sick or anything they just found him dead. Wel of course I was grief stricken but after the phone call adn the remaining half hour of the drive there I perked up because I was getting to see WTK!
I haven't been happier in the last 4 years than I am right now. It just feels like I had this huge dream accomplished and its amazing! So of course now behind all this amazingly great happiness is guilt because im happy while my aunt and uncle adn their daughter (jacksons mom) and her husband are all going through this unbeleivable pain adn grief right now waiting to get autopsy reports to know why their baby died.
It sucks really because the one time in a long time ive managed to acheive this true happiness that isnt going away adn probably wont for a while I know that I shouldnt be happy and all high on this WTK buzz but it was the one thing I have waited forever for and it was a wonderful night despite being sick right now because of it. Still I feel guilty because I know i should be sad but I cant manage the feeling- actually I dont want to have the feeling back.
So now im torn, tears wouldnt even come to me when my mawmaw told me all i had was shock and i suppose mental tears and concern for brynn. I just cant beleive the one time I feel happy happens right as im supposed to feel sad.