I can’t stand watching people with supportive parents-or even parents who just tolerate their kid’s identity-complain about so many things I would kill to have. Today my friends were talking about how their moms bought them tons of “for men ONLY” kinda hygiene products when they came out since they didn’t know how to be supportive. When they came out they got shopping trips in the men’s section and rainbow socks when I came out I got told I am failing my family, myself, and my future kids. I would do anything to have what they have, to have the possibility of what they have
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Hi F1refly. Thanks for sharing this. I can relate to what you shared about your feelings when seeing the support that some LGBTQ folk get from parents. My parent was not supportive when I came out and still isn’t and has said really hurtful things to me. I am glad others get support from family, but it hurts too. I guess for me it just stands in such contrast to my experience and I wish things were different. I am sorry that you have not gotten the support from your parents that really we should all be able to have. Best to you. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk.
H3llo Fir3fly, You are not the only one who feels the disparity when comparing our transition to those of others…
My transition started eight years ago when I was 11. My parent (dad) has taken a while to come to terms with who I am too. But mom’s endless support slowly led to him reach some rather obvious conclusions.
Lucky for me, puberty hit a bit later than for most, and I had already started hormone blockers, so I was spared the Adam’s apple, large hands, & laser hair removal.
Dad and me lost mom in 2012 so i had to grow up fast. He travels for work, so in recent years I am alone for two weeks at a time. Usually I am the only teenager filling up a shopping cart at noon on a Wednesday.
Sending you prayers and a hug. Iris
As for failing your family, I would say it is the other way around.
They are not the ones to sit in judgment of you, that is in the Goddess’s or Gods hands.
I have only my own life experiences, and do not know yours…. Set up a time to talk with your parent(s) , maybe not at home, try to find some neutral ground. And bring some information with you, not just links to web sites, some —actual— printed books and magazine articles. A local library will be ideal since you are supposed to use quiet voices there. And, they will have access to all kinds of info. Pick out some books together and take them home.
Remember that both of you need to be calm, not overly emo, but willing to listen and have an open conversation. You need —two— willing participants to effectively communicate.
No specific sites come to mind but why not sit down with them and (together) go visit some “Parent of Trans” discussion groups? They might be more likely to listen to other adults instead of a room full of younger people. Other Trans peoples families have already gone through what you are going through, so they are a great resource,
Remember that they just don’t understand, so help them to understand! It will take time, love and patience… lots of patience.
Sending you hugs, Iris