so, I didn't post alot yesterday because me and mom (she just woke up looking for a fight) kept fighting on and off, and it blew up fast.
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I ended up telling her off, and when she told me to apologize I said no, because I was tired of saying sorry when it wasn't even my fault.
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and before I stormed out of the house walking to the gym (crying because I was so mad) she said "I forgive you"
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FUCK THAT, I don't need HER forgiveness, she should be the one apologizing. I'm tired of being her scape goat.
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so when I got tot he gym my eyes where all red and puffy andmy face tear stained. the young girl that works there kept asking what was wrong
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and wanted to know if i wanted her to get chrissy (my trainer) to talk. but I kept insisting I was fine and she let it go. (though she still got chrissy so I had to insist everything was fine to her as well)
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because of the fighting I missed my appointment with her, but I have one today at 3:30pm.
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I refuse to talk to her or interact with her in any way. I'm done, she's cut off. trust me if I could leave today- I would.
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Anyway, to say I want this week to end now is an understatement I can't WAIT until she's back at work.
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well, that's it for now, I also got a text from one of former friends that hurt me, I did end up sending them a letter. basically saying even though i'm still deeply hurt, I forgive them.
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they still want to be friends, and I think they got the imperssion I still do because of the letter, but it was more of a closure thing. I don't know if I trust them enough to continue out friendship.
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i'll think about it though. but once your trust is crumpled, it can never be fully restored again.