I'm really anxious about having to go out TWICE tomorrow. I have two appointments and it's really rattling my nervs. I really don't want to deal with it but I have to.

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My body image is just getting worse, and the thought of going out in public with this body terrifies me. Like today my brother offered me a cookie, he's really sweet.

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But i paniced and nearly had a panic attack out of it, i only managed 1 small bite before giving it to my dog. I feel bad though because I can barely do anything normal with him without my 'issues' coming into play.

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it drags everyone down. I feel it's never going to change, it's never going to get 'better'.

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I'm also worried and anxious about my cat Jasper, shes usually hyper and all over the place but for the past couple of days she's the complete opposite. we might need to take her to the vet. I pray she's okay…

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I can't handle losing anything else. just the thought of it makes me spirial. then i keep thinking about my appointments for next week and I reall don't want to see that guy. anyone but him.

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I sent a letter to two of my friends…but I regretted it afterwards because I'm scared it's just going to be a nuisance or annoy them. it's stupid but it's truly how I feel.

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That's why i rarely write letters anymore let alone text or call.

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i don't know. I have to many thoughts swirling around in my head to think or express it clearly. it probably just sounds like useless babbling.

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well, I pray the rest of this afternoon/night goes alright, it always gets worse especially but night. and I have to get up early tomorrow so I don't want it messing with my sleep again.

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Anyway, hope your all have a good day…Stay Strong.