I feel like I can't fully accept that I have SAD sometimes. I mean, I understand that it is something that I have and that I will always have to deal with, but I don't want it to describe who I am.

I get frustrated/saddened when other's say I'm too "quiet". I know I'm not the loudest person out there, but in my mind, I'm trying REALLY hard to get out of my shell. I'm constantly pushing forward, making conversation, etc, yet people still see me as the same "quiet" person. It feels like I can't get away from it no matter how hard I try.

The reason I'm so bothered by this description is because I don't feel like I am a quiet person.

I consider the "real me" to be the person I am when I'm at home with people I'm comfortable with (my fiance and my family). I'm super silly, loud, talk too much, etc, etc. My parents tell me all the time that I should be a lawyer because of my great ability at articulating debates about certain subjects. Even when I was in Kindergarten, I was really outgoing and friends with everyone. I am not antisocial at all, I crave human interactions. I feel like this is my true self, my natural self that acts according to the moment, not overthinking/over-analyzing.
It weirds me out that all the people surrounding me in the public realm all see a drastically different version of me, that I don't feel is even real. I hate that I get put into this tiny box of what they consider to be the only real me. I understand that it is because that's all they see, but it hurts that no one really tries to get to the real me. It just gets assumed that that's all I am and ever will be.
It's so confusing to have two conflicting halves of a whole.

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