kinda want one.. kinda don't. really not sure of what i have to offer a woman at this point in my life. really not sure if i am comfortable with the idea of coupling again. really not sure if i should stake so much happiness in relationships in general. i do however feel that love is real, i've just no idea what it is in it's purest form. women have a tendency to hurt me ( i know everyone gets hurt) really really bad. i've yet to have a successful relationship with another woman. i think i am too simple for them. my spartan living does not suit their palette. i guess i just want a girl who's down to earth and confident in herself. someone with a kind heart and a healthy distrust of mainstream normalcy. a girl i can go to a punk show with, discuss existentialism with, have a beer with, read with and make love to.. yet sadly all i ever meet are girls who are hipsters, jet set self-centered faux-hawked pseudo subversive types who rely on sarcasm and mistake it for wit far too often..it's the plasticity of people, specifically young lesbians of my age that make me question relationships in general. sometimes i wonder if a life of celibacy would be a more healthy decision, as my view of love and recieving it and deserving it is slightly scewed because of my depression, anxiety, an overall general isolation. im not sure if any of this has a pouint. on this particular subject i remain as ambivalent as i have always been on almost everything. what a lonely young dyke to do. i guess for right now i should just get myself together so that if and when she comes along i'll be healthy independent of our union. i guess that really is the truth of it. so strange, wish i could make my mind..
-
Eight mile
punk, , Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Career, 1
"8 Mile" It's alright, it's OK, I'm gonna make it anyway,I'ma make it, I'ma make it, I'ma make it..,...
-
Day 9
Cautrell05, , Depression, 0
Hey guys, Day 9. Right now I’m just trying to be okay. Some days are harder than others. I’ve...
-
Where to begin…
MJDoe, , Depression, Anxiety, Relationships, Social Anxiety, 0
Well where to start? I guess I'll just go off what's on my brain at this very minute…I may...
-
Last night
sadjac, , Depression, Questions, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
I appologise to anyone that I talked to last night. As you might have been aware, I was...
-
Hating Life
alone1innewyork, , Depression, Parenting, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Suicide, 1
It seems nothing in my life has been good these are them reasons why. From the time I was...
-
Just another day…
Starpixie831, , Depression, Religion, 0
I'm listening to this song "It's only life" – I've been reminding myself of that a lot lately. Tears...
-
Friends and their annoying habits
chunckywannabcurvy, , Depression, 0
I have a particularly annoying friend. They are a good friend and someone i like spending time with. But...
-
Ocd + depression =?
Parrot75, , Depression, OCD, Anger, Child, Depression, Medication, OCD, 2
Hi I have ocd and depression I suffered all my life no one really understood me some thought I’m ...
Hey there,
Read your blog-thought I would say hi.
It is probably a good idea to work on yourself before getting into a relationship (even if you really really want to be in one) because if you don't deal with the junk now-you bring the junk with ya. Dealing with junk and trying to maintain a relationship at the same time is hard to do-not impossible but very hard.
If you are looking for the femme that actually has a brain and chooses to us it, well they are hard to find, but they do exist. I know a few of them actually.
well anyway, I'm online alot if you want to vent-or have someone to discuss a book with.