Well here I am again, alone in this room, the dungeon as I call it, with nothing but this old junkie comp., but thankful it's running at the moment. Tomorrow, hummm let me see what's the plan for tomorrow you ask, well I have so much to look forward to, let me see, sleep as late as possible, good luck with that one, wake up late hopefully try to be really quite and grab something to drink out of the frig., then i'll try quitely to find something to snack on, then well let me see……… ummmmm…….. well I guess I'll check my e-mail, then I'll get angry because there's nothing else to do.My mom's room where she lives is in the living room so I can't watch tv or cook or do anything and I don't have electricity in my part of the house, so oh yeah it's going to be an awesome day for me !

Well on a more positive note I've been thinking about things I miss……. I miss electricity of course, the mts, clean clothes, getting my hair done, caring about these things, I miss what I thought was love and friendship, I miss having a car, I miss perfume, lotion, makeup, I miss the freedom to go, I miss fishing, I miss style, I missed Christmas, decorating, celebrating, I miss fishing, I miss having a cell phone or any phone, I miss having my own space, I miss having a clean place to call home, i miss organization, i miss having white teeth, hell I miss having something to smile about ,I miss candles, I miss my baby, my cat, George, I miss Shay, my so called bestfriends daughter, she's the young lady I helped bury, I miss cleanliness, I miss traveling so much, driving, going shopping, wow I never thought I'd miss that, I miss having my Rocesa medication, I miss clean sheets, being able to do laundry, take a shower when I want, miss having shampoo, conditioner, deodrant, soap, I miss my glasses and being able to see well enough to read, I miss my furniture, my nice beautiful king sized bed, my pretty things, I miss comfort, I miss not being scared and jumpy living here, I miss sitting in the jacuzzi watching the star shooting over our heads, I miss the hamock, I miss the campsite we built together, I miss bonfires and entertaining, but I guess I miss the most of all is life, living, being in the world, LIFE< LIVING. Now I only wish I could go there's nothing left except another persons need, once that's gone………A future with what no friends, no partner, no retirement, no home, no medical, no 401k, no banking acct., no legacy, nothing absolutely nothing, my only friends old age, and poverty. I'm so over it !