i feel kinda psychotic or i dont know how to put it. i cant sleep, its 4:30 am and iv been thinking of life again. i have so many personalities that i have some darker sides. i develope more personalities with time, shows, games and deep thougts. right now iv had some thinking. i dont believe in god or higher power, but i find it funny that how our lives have coursed through life to this where we just continue the laws that we created by the help of religion. i think alot about alternate universes, how diffrent our world could have been. evil and good is something we decided through religion, we see murder or destroying and we see it as evil, but what is evil? why do we live in a world where more majority people who have more power decide that what is evil and what is good for our lives? i sometimes think about murder, i dont see any wrong with it bec wrong is something we each individuel have been thaught and see diffrently. i dont know how i would do it, but in art or revenge or what ever you wanted to do it for is not evil or wrong. i have to follow the rules though, follow the good bec life we have made has made it to this. this world could have been alot worse, but could have been alot better also. but who decides what is worse and better? why do we trust people with power to act on it? and do we trust people to do the right thing? for us? or for themselvs?

sometimes i see death can be a beautiful art, but have to be presented or shown to be beautiful. i feel somewhat psychotic or sociopath i dont know wich, by thinking like this. i dont believe in any kind of religion, i just think alot and sometimes my thoughts thrift into this.