I still feel like there’s something wrong, inside.  A knot in my stomach…  a weight on my back… 

I am trying to get past this.  I am fighting it.  I would reject it, if I could, but it has no regard. 

"It’s summertime – and I can understand if you
Still feel – sad –
It’s summertime and though it’s hard to see its true
possibilities -"

I can’t believe my sister "touched up" my photos, and sent them back to me.  Obviously, I am doing alright with the photography thing.  Need to get out there and take some pictures before I totally lose all daylight.  I have been so lame about that. But, I did get some sh*t done, today.  I ordered a poster print of one of my photos.  I got a good walk in.  And I started working on my play, again.  I haven’t touched it since before the kick.  I think I am finally ready to go back.  Maybe, it will help.  Maybe not…  I don’t know. 

"When you look inside – all you’ll see
When you look inside – all you’ll see
Is a self-reflected inner sadness –
Look outside – I know that you’ll
Recognize it’s summertime"

I had to avoid the themes involved (some of them, anyway), for a while, but now…  I think I am ready, and I know I want to finish it.

Methadone still tapering back by three mg a week.  I feel good about that, too.

I don’t know why I am so twisted up, right now.  But, I have to jet.  I am losing daylight.  (It may already be too late in the evening, by the time I get to the lake).

"Look outside – I know that you’ll recognize
It’s summertime"  (The Flaming Lips, "It’s Summertime")