Thank god the holidays are over. I can have some time to myself to think. It’s been an emotional nightmare these last few days. Med’s aren’t working the way they should anymore i think i’ve built up a resistance my emotions are all over the map and my restraint is fraying and about to snap which is never a good thing. Everything is getting on my nerves, the radio makes me cry, my kids irritate me beyond all reason. I feel so violent it takes everything i got not to act out. like yester day some dumb A%# blocks the vehicle access to my place and its cold as hell out and he’s parked there almost all night. My first reaction was to ram his expensive car, take a bat to his windshield and key a nasty yet accurate word into the side of his door. showing restraint i settled for egging his car and letting it freeze. Childish i know, not proud of it but when tempers are flaring… then on Christmas day my fiancé of a year decides to break it to me in casual passing conversation well talking to a group of his family about something unrelated that he is calling off our engagement. his exact words. "What’s the point of going through with it?" This is after he spent three weeks talking me into accepting his proposal in the first place last year. I can’t decide if i’m more hurt or disappointed. or maybe after spending two years dealing with my mood swings he finally decided he was crazy to tie himself down to someone like me. He’s not ending our relationship, he just doesn’t want to move forward. I love the man, I really don’t know how to feel. So much for a Merry Christmas huh?

1 Comment
  1. Lil_Me 12 years ago

    So wait, he doesn”t want to end the relationship but he doesn”t want to move forward?  That is so contradictive, confusing???  Why would you be in a relationship with someone if you don”t plan to move forward with them… relationships are for moving forward, dating, is for people who don”t want to…

    You EGGED the car, HA, I got a good laugh out of that one, .. I could never do something like that, maybe that”s part of my problem, I”ll just hold all the anger inside & take it out on myself lol

    Well, I feel for you, have you been together for a year or engaged for a year?  Regardless, that was not the way to go about saying such a thing.  REALLY not the way.  I hope things are okay, I”d like to stay in touch, I”m here if ya need me 🙂

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