Thank god the holidays are over. I can have some time to myself to think. It’s been an emotional nightmare these last few days. Med’s aren’t working the way they should anymore i think i’ve built up a resistance my emotions are all over the map and my restraint is fraying and about to snap which is never a good thing. Everything is getting on my nerves, the radio makes me cry, my kids irritate me beyond all reason. I feel so violent it takes everything i got not to act out. like yester day some dumb A%# blocks the vehicle access to my place and its cold as hell out and he’s parked there almost all night. My first reaction was to ram his expensive car, take a bat to his windshield and key a nasty yet accurate word into the side of his door. showing restraint i settled for egging his car and letting it freeze. Childish i know, not proud of it but when tempers are flaring… then on Christmas day my fiancé of a year decides to break it to me in casual passing conversation well talking to a group of his family about something unrelated that he is calling off our engagement. his exact words. "What’s the point of going through with it?" This is after he spent three weeks talking me into accepting his proposal in the first place last year. I can’t decide if i’m more hurt or disappointed. or maybe after spending two years dealing with my mood swings he finally decided he was crazy to tie himself down to someone like me. He’s not ending our relationship, he just doesn’t want to move forward. I love the man, I really don’t know how to feel. So much for a Merry Christmas huh?