Had my last ever(!!) meeting with my now ex probation officer yesterday. It was great actually cause It was with my original officer as my new one was in a meeting. He told me that I was looking good. Which is nice. He said that he can tell that i hadn’t been drinking. That surprised me. There must have been something about me when I was drinking alot that he could tell. He said it was my eyes more than anything. That made me feel good. I have been feeling good, and I havn’t had a drink since august. There of course have been times when I have wanted to, but I did. And that says something.

I told him about my plans to move interstate next year. He said that it really sounds like a good idea. New town, new people, new start. I’m really looking forward to it. So much so that i’m actually going to go to a car boot sale on saturday and clear out all the stuff that I no longer need/want. This will make it easier for when I move. I finally told mum that I was thinking about going back to my aunts. She was a little surprised, but she thought it would be ok. I didn’t really tell her that I was thinking about it being a (at this point) Semi- perminent thing. I guess that will come up later.

I’ve been feeling ok. I’ve been feeling older. I don’t know, I just feel like i’m now 23, i’ve not really matured for a long time, and i just think that its time for me to grow up. I’m ready. I think thats a part of why i’m looking forward to this move so much. I’m always going to be a bit of a crazy person. I love just having fun and being goofy. Thats just me. I just want to finally go my own ways, do my own things and not worry about what my mother says. Its time.

Anyway I have my appointment with the psychiatrist on friday. Still looking forward to that. I don’t want to cancell it even though i’m feeling ok. I’ve been in a place like this before, and I still ended up back in the hospital. I think i’d be crazy to not go. Maybe its just my illness that makes me having these "good" moments. Anyway it’ll be interesting to see what he says.  I’m still a bit nervous about it.