Well it is Wednesday and the week is almost over -Thank God.

The weekend came and went. Spent most of it working taking care of my elderly clients. Who were completely miserable because they are all home bound. They sit there and complain about being home bound and I sit there and listen to them complain. As I sit there and listen to them I am thinking boy I wish I was home bound and get to stay in bed and sleep. But no sleep for the weary.

I went to the doctors again on Saturday due to the fact that I had a breakdown last week – I think it was Wednesday – he told me that I am back and square one. He really doesnt know why. He wants me to refrain from working until he can get my meds under control. I told him that there is no way I can do that because I need to make money so that I can come and see you. Dr. Awad was like ok then I want you to distance yourself from your client. I looked at him and was like how the hell and I suppose to do that if I am the type of person who needs to care for everyone else except myself. Anyway, I ended up with 2 more medications, an increase in Seroquel – now I am up to 400 mg at night – I so totally didnt think that the increase in the seroquel was going to do anything, so I took it Sunday night because I had nothing to do on Monday. Let me just say that when you take 400 mg of seroquel at night you better be near your bed or sitting on the edge of it. I took it and it usually takes about an hour to work. It took like 10 minutes, my husband had to help me to bed. Never slept so good in my life.

It is a shame that I need medication to put me to sleep and medication to wake me up.

Regardless, I am still anxious and still cry for a good hour before going to work. So the depression and the anxiety are still there. I guess it is gonna take awhile for the meds to work.

Well time to take my morning cocktail.



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