I hate how I feel so lonely but when I am given the chance to actually meet people I hide away :(. On facebook I had an invite for a party but its with people I don't really like but everyone from class was going… I feel extremely awkward around people, since I have only really ever had like 1 friend to rely on I cant just go to a party with like 30 people and drink etc. But now I look all stuck up and looks like I dont wanna hang out with them 🙁
I have hung out with them before and I couldnt handle it i had to leave early, just noone talks to me! what do you do at a party when noone gives a shit about you being there? just sit and drink? i tried you know talking to some familiar faces but after the usual chit chat conversation dried up and they just move on and had fun with others leaving me standing like a lemon alone in a corner near the drinks lol…:(
So I just sat there and after trying needlessly to join in the groups fun and being continually ignored for an hour I just said I wasnt feeling to great, grabbed my coat and left. Oh I also HATE getting my photo taken so thats another reason I hate parties etc because i feel so ugly and horrible.
The party was last night and now i have spent the whole day feeling really upset and lonely that they are all having fun and even if i did go noone cares! whats so boring about me that noone wants to like me? I try so hard and it really sucks that im anxious and find it hard to talk to people. I want to be more outgoing but how do i go out feeling confident and what do i do if people ignore me?